Your move Mr. Kraft

I don't know about murder, but he is guilty of the worst Oscar Pistorius impression of all time.

I believe the tie is of normal length. Pants exceedingly high in the waist. Nice optical illusion.

I think his pants are just up that high. Which is probably worse.

Fuck that was good. One of my favorites to date. Hard to chose a single line or paragraph, but this one made me chuckle pretty good -

ESPN 30 for 30 presents the Aaron Hernandez Story "From Tight End to Power Bottom."

By overturning a deserved penalty which then ultimately led to massive financial gains for all involved, Texas A&M finally proved itself worthy of the SEC.

Good to know that A&M does things the right way.

Yeah, so much for "small government," huh? Fucker.

This story rubs me the wrong way. Like picking all the wrong things in an industry that is about health and mocking them for it. Sounds like someone just wanted to write an epic long bitch fest about people who are different from him. I really like you Hamilton but this story is shit.

And, ye, I beheld another beast coming up out of the earth; and he had two horns like a lamb, and he spake as a dragon.

No, I'm thinking more high school / college / shitty minor league players.

Peter King is proud to see his numbering system start to go viral.

I'm so disappointed no zoo patrons yelled, "WORLDSTAR!"

I think a lot of shops do that. The one near where I used to live in CA had specials for basically all the 'holidays'...St. Patricks Day, Valentines day, Friday the 13th, May the Fourth etc. and had a pre-set group of tattoos you could get for $20.

Wow! Susan Sarandon looks old!

Whoa! You have to have the balls of a brass monkey to get a rib tat. I did, and I had to go buy fresh panties because of helplessly peeing my pants! God! The pain!

Amen! My artist has a private studio in a large artist loft space. It is quiet and the windows have blinds. No cell phones, no visitors. I pay by the hour and works gets done quickly. I usually go in on a Friday at 2pm.

But at least the upside to this is that the Internet becomes overloaded with pictures of horrible, poorly done and just all-around bad tattoos for our enjoyment.

My mom once took me out to West Texas for a week to Make a Point, and I thought I was going to die. We stayed at her friend's house and there was literally nothing for miles and miles in any direction, and my cell phone stopped working about three hours into the eight hour drive. Worst punishment you could ever…