I commend you, and all the other writers on staff, for having even, measured responses to people that I would probably just say f*ck off to.

This is 100% accurate.

Counterpoint:

Thank god. For a while there I thought I was being racist for thinking all the winners looked alike.

Nicely done. So what if it’s running a little rough? That car has been through 700k on the same engine. It has seen some shit. If it was a person, it would have been a military veteran, very much deserving of a few rounds of drinks and a properly cooked steak.

T’was the night four twenty; and all through the tent; not a creature was stirring; the weed was all spent.

Dogs that walk around in airport terminals are largely there to sniff for explosives, not drugs.

Then why is the premise of your post “why has it taken so long”?

I was trying to figure out how exactly to respond to an article that basically trashes on Jay-Z and calls him overrated, but Jay already crafted a response to this nonsense 12 years ago.

This article is very “outshineable”...

Do I?

American-made car from a startup company driving some fascinating innovations throughout the entire auto industry is bashed by some basement-dwelling neckbeard trolling on the Internet?

TRIPLE CHECK!

Upon my return to her table, she meekly asks me, “Can I have a glass of ice, please?” Wow, my first please from her. ...Wow, a thank you, too....she finally figured out not to screw with restaurant servers. The best part, they left a huge tip too, well in excess of 25%.

eating a salad as a full meal is like eating whispers

actually if you knew anything about the Dubai police dept, those cars are all donated by the manufacturers or other rich people. they're used almost exclusively for events like they showed; good-will meets with civilians.

The key being turned off turned the airbags off.

Yeah, if it was really part of his job, they would eventually terminate him for not doing it. That would never happen. The NFL really wants him to go through the whole media ritual, and so they're trying to nudge him along with fines, but at the end of the day he's a running back, not a PR lackey, and so long as he's…

I know literally no one that gives half a damn what the players say to reporters after the game. It's always some variation on thanking God, then saying it was a team effort, then saying they were all just focused and ready to execute. The end, no one gives a shit.

I would know about my favorite team by watching the team play the sport they get paid to play. Which requires zero "journalists," just two people in the booth talking about the stuff happening on the field.