I’m pretty sure this is the 3rd time this has happened at a Padres game in recent history.

Maybe I’m not his target audience but his brand logo looks like a terrible, 5-years-too-late knockoff of Big Black stuff, right?

Sleazebag mode: Activated.

Maybe it could be set in Chicago!

I can get on board with that.

Instead of “Rookie”, I thought the headline was going to say “An Actual Dolphin” and I wouldn’t have been any more or less surprised.

Politics, am I right?

It seems like there’s a lot of overlap there.

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I would like to take this opportunity to announce my retirement from the NFL as well. After being a free agent for the entirety of my 8 year career, I can no longer justify the physiological toll that playing in 0 games a year has had on my body and mind. I am grateful to all of the fans who have supported me over…

Pfff, give me a lot of money and I can drink all day long just fine. I don’t need to see anybody get drilled in the googly and the yahoos.

So THAT’S the point of cricket? How the hell did that sport get so popular?

DcNuggets- They’re the whole package!

Right, because it is equally probable that you will see a bird and a motorcycle flying through the air in front of your car.

Holy Moley, that is nice.

Does this mean he will have a charley horse all the time?

“No, I don’t”, replied most of America.

What do you mean, “right now”?

(Insert name of your school’s rival here) HEY-OOO

Because the last team-sourced speculation about alcoholism went so well, they just had to give it another try, right?