I thought the Chrysler Building was in New York.

This is fertile ground for humor.

Cue the sad trombone slide.

It looks like Fluffy Bunny might mind being blamed.

"I know what offense means...but, like, how would you describe it to somebody who didn't?"

Looking at him, that seems unlikely.

Man, most people who brag about buying a hummer just get arrested.

SCHTUPID

Was it your birthday?

You're damn right it has been.

That impacted me, but most importantly, it impacted the people around me — my family, my kids.

Really flows off the tongue.

That is the face of someone who is mid-fart.

This is the extent of my knowledge. I'm not super confident but I think I'm close enough.

Oof.

If only the rivers weren't frozen over it would be perfect.

The future is here, folks.

You mean you don't use compressed air jets and nano squeegees instead of toilet paper these days?

Of course, their "accelerate so fast that everything behind you gets vaporized" system. Works every time.