yeah, he kind of won, the score is tallied.

My partner was an inexperienced Russell Wilson, and I am a former sex worker who always fell for the Futures. This is so, so much better. And he’s got no preconceived notions about sex so this motherfucker is down for anything. It’s a blast. Literally and, whatever, you know what I mean.

Sigh. I really hate this idea that Future is the cool guy, while Russell is the corny one. Future has five baby mommas, most of whom don’t even like him. It’s not cool to cheat on all your significant others and pretty much abandon your kids to fuck around with groupies. Stop with the Russell hate.

Future is a slut-shaming drug addict who can barely be bothered to father his child. I get that he’s hot, but what’s fun about him?

I’m a PNW resident and lifelong Seahawks fan. Russell’s bible quoting can be annoying and the dude is definitely a dork, but I’ll take a corny QB over a piece of shit like Roethlisberger or an asshole like Tom Brady any day.

I work at Sephora, and I can’t wait for the moment when people start rushing our store, asking us to help them achieve this madness.  *shudders*

He’s a handsome, wealthy, elite professional athlete. I wish I was that uncool.

This, plus he’s married to Ciara. He can’t be that uncool. 

Wilson is corny as hell, but it seems to be an honest corny and not a put-on so why not leave the nerd alone? 

Some people could, and did.

I try to pluck my chin hairs with my bare hands while watching Netflix and my fiancé tries not to notice what I’m up to. It takes forever since this method is so inefficient. 

Or pluck my chin hairs.

I was in high school and college in the 90s and goddammit I am not doing this again!

i can barely be bothered to shave my arm pits

Her audience not getting it makes it 10x worse and makes them look dumb.

She can’t get out of her own way.

“Anna Wintour” is bomb and I fully gave myself permission to like it despite Banks’ many MANY anti-gay outbursts.

AB is a lunatic, but she’s not 100% wrong with #3. Messy Mia’s estate just settled with Beyonce this year and Mexican Breakfast was clearly copied. 

Beautiful, talented, and batshit cray cray.

She seems like she’s having a bad day.  Maybe try someplace nicer than Applebee’s.