Keep doing those parlor tricks Faldo, I'm sure history will remember you as an equal to your brother Bilbo.

I don't think Belichick's got anything to worry about. Patriots players are almost never caught holding.

Surprised Potvin/Hextall isn't here. Nor Johnson's one punch KO of DiPietro...unless breaking DiPietro is already played out.

One of the best things about Ryan Miller's quote is that he was asked about his injury and he says, that's not what I want to talk about. Along with the fact that he was concussed and powered through to say how we all feel about the Bruins.

Pictured: Three small weiners

They originally were going to put him down after the injury, since Beck was quoted as saying "I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you kill me?"

To scum, name of Beck,

If you are so frail that a 14 year-old tossing a helmet ruptures your Achilles, perhaps you should take it as a sign that you just weren't meant to be.

"I'm sure I could figure it out."

Unreal. The kid who tore his coach's Achilles tendon is named Paris? Think he's into Greek mythology?

"Smug hipster jaguar is particularly inspired," Tom Ley wrote before running to the urinal for his third piss of the morning. As he washed his hands, he caught his reflection in the mirror. The resemblance was uncanny and he couldn't deny it. He looked just like the cartoon bear that blew him days before.

I find it awesomely appropriate that the Jacksonville Jaguar logo looks exactly like Tom Ley.

Maybe we should elect him mayor.

"Shake hands, boy! Shake, boy! Come on, boy, shake hands! SHAKE, GOD DAMN IT!" - Tom Brady

Isn't the real story here that somebody actually wanted to interview Tanner Glass?

I can't believe how far Keyshawn & Justin have fallen.