Oh my GOD! This one made me LOSE IT. The visual I get from this makes it that much funnier.

My question exactly. I'm not judging , but baked beans don't seem that sexy to me, and I usually understand how someone is into a certain fetish. Whatev. Maybe they're from Boston?

My BFs exact words: "Wow, fuck. That would fuck you up." I agree with him. Your poor butt!

I was leaning towards over-earnest, humourless hipster, who, whenever he starts spouting off at a party, everyone just turns around and abruptly walks away from him, leaving him to darkly mutter "Philistines!" into his craft beer. He WISHES he could be controlling IRL, but is way too much of a coward.

Oh. I. HATED. Aiden. I hated him so much it made me crazy. But not as crazy as when Miranda dumped Blair Underwood for that whiny bitch, Steve. What the hell was THAT?!

Ugh. Tried to edit my post, I wrote it late last night, and messed up a bit. When I say "stupid people actually believe it", I didn't mean Jez commenters or Madeline Davies! I meant idiot Teabagger-ettes believe these heavily sponsored statements are truth, and not, in fact, sponsored by two nasty bitter old…

I enjoyed your use of caps-shouting.

How did it gain traction? The Koch Bros and their ilk, that's how. They pay a fortune to these young "Conservative" bloggers, create these bots (I'll bet 3/4 of those tweets are fake to get the hashtag trending) etc. and then stupid people actually believe whatever rant-du-jour the TeaBaggers have is a real thing. …

Life in prison isn't enough. I'd like him to serve in prison, get shivved, get reincarnated as a banana slug, and that banana slug gets thrown in jail for life, and then come back as a dog or an ostrich, that goes to jail, and on and on and on. This kid is pure evil.

I was going to comment: "No, Jason. Moving forward you need to not suck. At everything. Ever."

Why not all three? Also, allow me to direct you to his belt and necklace.

They did nail his speech pattern, and his complete and utter divorce from reality, though.

YOU GUYS! Look who commented!!! I feel like I've actually seen the Easter Bunny, or, more accurately, The Blair Witch.

They take shots at the shirt, but nothing about the pants? That seems like a missed opportunity. Maybe he only wears those pants for special occasions? Like, just regular jeans/Dockers to work, and these bad boys for date nights.

My thoughts exactly.

Awful. Evil incarnate.

You're describing one of my exes to a T. Pathological, compulsive liar. Everyone knew it, too. Occasionally, they'd call him on it, but mostly gave him a pass bc he was fun to drink with and he supposedly had a horrific childhood, full of abuse and neglect, which, of course, now, everyone thinks is also a lie.

That. Is. CRAZY!! You're lucky you're alive! Fn "from my cold dead hand" rednecks.

I LOVE weird coincidences like this. That's a great story!

You rule. Your sister is lucky to have you as her sibling.