Dammit Samir...

Right 50 into left armco into 50-50 grind into canal.

We call that a "Farm Donk"

I think you need a week out in the midwest.

All the rural kids are shaking their heads at you Torch.

Don't get out of the city much, eh?

We do have them here in America...

They tried to make the video without computers, but when they deactivated the McLaren's stability control, Naked Prince Harry flew in a St. George's Cross livery Lancaster and carpet-bombed the crew with bulldogs.

Any extraordinarily rare, extraordinarily valuable car, such as a Shelby Daytona Coupe. Only six were made, so you know it's absence will be immediately noticed. Also, if you drove it anywhere, someone would immediately recognize it as stolen.

What about young people in old Toyotas. My '73 Hilux tops out at 65 mph, downhill. I plan to rectify this very soon. (does evil hysterical laugh)

How times change, back in 2008, we had Roman telling us that this was top-of-the-line:

I assume you view yourself as one of your "real adults" which makes me wonder why you bought a game you know you will be bored with in "a relatively short amount of time".

Great essay. I find that another source of major frustration I have with this topic (though, GTA V is quite great) is that Rockstar has already shown themselves capable of writing a strong, and still human, female:

Seriously.

I actually preferred Conan's bit. Kimmel's wasn't bad either, but those jokes are a little tired.

Still relevant now.

Unlike the Gamers' virginities!

Ah, "Gamers Are Virgins" jokes. They never get old.

I can see the headlines now..