Excellent piece. It's still mind-boggling that State Farm hired Schneider to be its pitch-person when there were two-year-old comments like that out there and easily findable in even a half-assed, cursory due diligence check into Schneider's public comments.

I didn't think anything could be better than Kevin Draper's mom.

I always thought the McDonald's Moon Man was just Studio 54's, after a couple of trips to rehab.

Well, hon, you are responding to the wrong person. My comment was about the miracle of you knowing your burner key a year after you created your account.

Random iTunes Shuffle Selection: Hey, I Didn't Know She Could Sing!

You knew a year ago what Major Harding would rule today? Holy shit, I thought that sort of predictive skill was no longer with us.

Damn pesky details!

I watched the last twenty minutes of that a couple weeks ago while waiting for Freak Show to start. Everyone's inability to elude the giant rolling wheel was rather amusing.

I'm sorry, could you translate this into a language we speak on Planet Earth?

There are big mistakes, and then there's domestic violence. Really drowns out the victims who are terrorized daily by serial abusers.

Mike Golic thinks Two Broke Girls is the funniest show on television.

My thoughts exactly. I think their fake laughing is the primary reason I can't stand them.

All I need to see is an image of Mike and Mike doubled over laughing to know this isn't funny.

"This would have been a good article. For my parents."

I almost saw them perform live once. Like, I was there but I wasn't into them, so I told my boyfriend I'd meet him out front when it was over and I left.

I think what helicopter mommy was demanding a re-shoot of was Trebek's statement made at the opening of the following episode (taped with the losing girl sitting in the audience):

They took some liberties with the source material, yes. Including that during the initial encounter, Leigh Anne didn't order Sean to turn the car around; he noticed Leigh Anne crying after they left Michael behind on the road, and Sean is the one who decided to go back.

I'm getting a very Homer Simpson-esque vibe to your parenting approach.

Other than Duke Ellington's Nutcracker Suite, the only other nod towards the season on my iTunes or Spotify accounts is courtesy Pink Martini's 2010 holiday entry, Joy to the World.

The soundtrack of December is Duke Ellington's Nutcracker Suite. To paraphrase Homer Simpson, I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my Tchaikovsky... jazzy!