I hope those Note 7 phones that people won’t turn in don’t damage the public airwaves. Repair costs are a real bitch.

“But God, why would you let ME be here and not my penis?” “Sorry, there’s no contracts here.” “But this is ridiculous” “Take it up with your Dorm Master” “We live in dorms?!” “NOOO CONTRACTTTTSSS, NO PROMISES!!”

Seems easy to me. Maybe, if you were smart like me, you’d know. Maybe if you had some kind of reading comprehension, you’d know. Maybe if you used Android instead of some shitty iphone, you’d know. You’d know that GOOGLE IS YOUR FRIEND. You’d know how to be polite. You’d have grown up by now. So get a grip. You…

I'm sure many men get vasectomies as part of a plea deal with their wife.

Wait, Jezebel IS a bunch of angry chicks but they don't just hate on attractive women. They hate on men first, then men sympathizers, THEN attractive women.

Cut the paper rolls in half perhaps?

Future Headline: "BrightSource wants to make up for neutering cats by freeing lab mice."

And I really fucking wish everyone would stop comparing this to victim blaming rape victims. Otherwise, I had the most horrible childhood ever and being bullied was just like rape. I actively had my head punched from behind on a regular basis, and worse. But bullying is not the equivalent of rape and this was not…

How about "Urectum?"