Somebody else had nearly the exact same post as you, and I just want to say what I told them:

Which comments, do you think? There are so many, and so many conflicting views, it's actually very hard for me to disentangle. For instance, I have two replies to a comment, one telling me that using "women" instead of "girls" would be much appreciated and another telling me not to worry about it. (Comment link for…

Interesting, somebody else made nearly this exact same point. Of course you're right - gender and sex are extremely complicated issues and aren't the same thing. I believe, while there may be a difference (brain scans show women and men are wired differently), ultimately one isn't "better" or "worse", just…

I can't tell if something I've said has upset you, or if you're commenting on some of the other remarks I've gotten...

Lol, yeah, it was, she pointed that out to me. I think I missed it because it hits rather close to home for me.

Thanks. :)

Yeah, telling them is probably the best place to start. It's really hard to show your intentions just by treating them as a human being - I feel like that's the bottom level of decency we owe everybody, not just the people we're interested in. Same thing for honesty, playing games.

Lol, yeah, she pointed that out to me. It just hit so close to home that I didn't notice what she was doing, I guess.

That's just really wrong, to have to leave something you enjoy because of the people. I hope you found something where you fit. I find myself fitting worse and worse here as time goes on. I hope I can finish and get out and find a saner, more balanced job, but sometimes that seems just despairingly impossible. …

I don't quite know how to apologize - I only have myself, my experience, to draw from, and I know I'm flawed on top of it, despite my best efforts. I try my best to be considerate, to think of others as individuals first, and gender somewhere way further down the line.

I don't know! I'd like to think that diversity of *all* types keeps people from getting into negative patterns and stereotypes, but maybe I'm just being optimistic?

Yeah, vice versa too: I didn't like being told tunnel vision is "male". I thought that having focus like that was just a part of me, my own personality. The frustrating part is coming up against your own stereotypes. I don't know if I really believe women are better at pattern-matching than men for instance. What…

Oooo, I'll definitely read the article. Thx! And all your advice does help, I like gathering as many perspectives and ideas as possible. I like the idea of complimenting something somebody clearly spent time on and cares about. That feels right. :)

Yeah, I don't know about that one. Women being better at learning languages is actually something that linguists have done research on, and it's supposedly true. This is just what I learned from one class at UCLA though.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean offense, I just don't think of people my age as "women", in the same way that I don't think of people my age as "men". I call myself a "guy". But that's a problem too, because sometimes you call girls "guys". I guess I call myself a boy sometimes. Is... that a problem? It just sounds…

Lol, well, trying my best anyways. It's extremely hard to really fully get it, because I'll only ever live my perspective. If that makes any sense.

Oh good! Yeah, I guess that's a nerve for me and it's just hard for me to read it as funny. Apologies for taking it too seriously. Probably the same reason it took me *forever* to see Big Bang Theory jokes about nerds as anything but nerd-bashing, it's kinda close to home.

As a guy, I always feel like I need to walk on eggshells when it comes to these topics. But there's something you said that actually bothers me a lot, and I figured, well, it's time to join the discussion a little.

I thought he explained this pretty well, if you're just asking for an alternative explanation to the intro then:

I use two at work and two at home. It doesn't help at home so much. It's mostly so I can watch internet TV and be on the internet.