Side effects may include:

Donald Trump is not going to be able to follow all the rules of the debates, like time limits and waiting his turn.

All I can say to you, Nissan, is build it, please. People will buy it.

Foxtrot Alpha, dickface.

Really fucking sick of Jezebel, of all places, calling this bullshit “sex.”

I’ll send a few pieces - just include $3,598,672 for shipping & handling

That’s why my porn stash is in stone

Gizmodo: We write sophisticated headlines

“That’s one small ship for man...”

“...so we’re all in agreement, I have 27 orders of shrimp fried rice, 3 orders of egg rolls, 5 crab ragoons, extra soy and sweet&sour sauce, right?

I think we all know the most reasonable solution: separate restrooms for conservative men.

Yes, and then when the companies he runs that have received taxpayer money make money, they are taxed and we slowly recoup our investment as taxpayers. It's how government funding of business and industry has always worked, good on Musk for continuing a proud tradition that has made us one of the greatest countries in…

Toyota never actually laughs just says “that’s funny”

Toyota goes to the game but leaves 5 minutes before it ends to beat the traffic.

Toyota goes to the all you can eat sushi place and orders a steak.

Well there goes my plan for a state-of-the-art zero gravity pin and needle manufacturing facility. Sigh.

No, if bad acting was the problem, that wouldn’t have helped.

I knew things were bad when you, the man who owns 4 Jeeps, bought that Honda Accord as your winter car.

Zinc content, a major wear additive, has gone down drastically over the years to keep catalytic converters from clogging.

Whoever edited that footage into that god awful video should be hung from his/her/its toenails.