Well it’s because “she’s not his type” and as a germaphobe he doesn’t want to see the blood coming out of her “wherever” if he were to ever interact with her in person.

He probably didn’t have enough characters to ironically say:

Roses are red
Some balls go foul
Here’s A-Rod shitting
Next to his towel.

Everyone likes boobs, idiot

he just stood there like a lump

Of all people, you’re surprised that this guy abstains from being a swinger when he encounters another dude in an unfamiliar position?

Alex

Listening to ska helps.

Tenant: Pope Thrower

I want to live in a world where Pope Thrower pulls off the upset in the final, but we can’t have nice things. We are in the darkest timeline.

Glickenhaus, of course, is German for “house of glickens”.  Which is just nonsense

KD has never scored a single point on me, Gabe. I’m the answer.

Listen, I get all the reports and stuff, but just wait until the Knicks get a look at Daniel Jones and decide to go all in on him.

To Carolina:

At least he’s advanced beyond “dough” from his passport picture:

The man is doughy AF.

They asked Brad’s sister Helen to confirm but she neither heard the insult nor saw the offending pitch 

Many a life-lesson may be pulled from this tale.

wears Chief Wahoo mask in dugout because “protesters are the real racists”