Probably my most shameful secret is that I once tried to get turned on by ASMR videos. I definitely have that tingle gene, so I figured, why not try to see if this could be a sexual thing. Yeah, not so much. That's 15 minutes of my life I want back.

1 cup of kale

I'm too busy massaging my kale to comment.

It feels like a relic of the late 00s.

It's a better ratio than most sketch or improv teams.

WORD! Let's be friends.

I just made PB&J Rice Krispy Treats. These are now things. You're welcome!

Can we talk about the hottie in the goggles?

Fuck. You reminded me that I need to clean a year's worth of sticky goo mess from the inside of my fridge, since people are coming over tomorrow and might open my fridge. THANKS A LOT!

That's a great way to stretch out your glasses so they slip down your nose.

He means fraternity brothers.

I WISH I looked that average. She looks AMAZING! And yes, most humans have a little poof below our belly buttons and still look AMAZING!

Please do not let this twatwaffle become Mayor.

My banana's name is Frankie.

If I could add one tip. When assembling your wardrobe, make sure your clothes aren't too tight. Skin tight pants are not appropriate for most workplaces. And if you've gained a bit of weight, invest in a larger size shirt instead of letting your shirt ride up over your belly. You'll look more polished, which is worth…

Uniqlo has fantastic wardrobe basics for great prices, and they're all now available online. Their no-wrinkle shirts are great and cheap.

What is up with the gendered backgrounds? Blue wall with a bulletin board for boys, pink wall with flowers for girls. Awesome video, would have been cooler if the filmmakers weren't pointing out gender with their green screen effects.

This comment motivated me to scroll through the slideshow. Totally worth it, bro. You are a chillass motherfucker. The Boulder video is also worth watching. Chicks, man.

Wait, there aren't many public bars in the South? Are they all private? What's up, The South?

Veep does a good job capturing the bro-iness of the Hill. All the senior staffers are aging bros.