Except...they're whining over the opt out. They wouldn't need to pay for it. They're just sad that by opting out, women could still get the care. It's all about control.

Because you are using your hard earned dollars to pay for your fucking insurance, and so therefore you should be able to use it for one of the single most basic and important aspects of your healthcare, which birth control is if you are a woman.

That's because, by formally opting out, they're tacitly permitting someone to help women afford contraception, and God is not down with that.

That's because, by formally opting out, they're tacitly permitting someone to help women afford contraception, and God is not down with that.

Like a houseguest. Marvelous at first and full of possibilities, but if left unsupervised for too long, they can be a real pain.

It is like people who write product reviews, say nothing about the product, and just bitch about the shipping. People are idiots.

I do not understand why people do that. It literally does not compute in my brain.

I find it odd that people keep connecting mayonnaise and ranch. Is it the color or something? Because mayonnaise is basically only eggs and vinegar. Ranch has neither of these ingredients. Ranch is buttermilk (sometimes sour cream), garlic, onion powder, salt/pepper, and some other herbs and spices. Ranch and…

I hate the idea that those two things are considered mutually exclusive by a lot of people. I've had bosses that seriously think an employee saying, "Ok, I've worked my butt off all day and now I'm going home because I have other things in my life besides this job," is tantamount to burning down the building or…

And yet somehow I always get the cops dick.

That's good! I may have to start using that.

When my mom worked for B&N she had a coworker, Nan? who'd had some kind of legit mental issues earlier in life that resulted in her carrying around a puppet companion that she treated like a person. She was a ventriloquist, so the puppet did talk "independently" and he would interact with coworkers and customers…

I love those kinds of stories. About a week ago, my boyfriend posted a super cute video of our cat chilling in the sink to Facebook. The only problem was that there was a mirror right behind the sink, and my boyfriend had just gotten out of the shower, so he was naked. And facing the mirror. He tagged me in it and I…

"It was one of those where as soon as he thought about it he would start laughing and be unable to talk."

I made a spam casserole for a potluck once because A: it was white-trash themed and B: I have an obsession with vintage recipes and had recently purchased an antique recipe box full of recipes at an antique store and that was one of them. I didn't tell anyone there was spam in it and they DEVOURED it. People pretend…

I'm kind of ashamed to admit that I have no idea what gravlax is and for a moment thought it was a Pokemon.

This is actually a story about a fellow server, a very young, vivacious, kind, and quirky girl whom everyone loved working with, with but nonetheless had a pronounced ditzy streak.

The mention of Idaho reminds me of a story from a hippy friend of mine. On the way back east from Oregon she stopped off for a meal in Idaho. In all sweet hippy naivety she asked the waiter if there was a vegetarian option. His reply was "Ma'am, out here, we feed the lettuce to the rabbits. And then, we eat the…

Cock or salmon?

Yeah, well, just be careful to not mix up some of these stories or you'll end up with cock in your mouth.