“Lay down and hide” has been my work strategy for 15 years. The trick is to not get caught.

Defensive Holding!

With all the other editors/ writers getting farewell roastings and the email circulated that G/O writers can’t even mention Splinter, it was totally ended because spanfeller is a little bitch 

Pour one out for Splinter.

Splinter was good. As much as I liked Old Gawker, they never would have hired someone like Nick Martin, who maybe couldn’t snark as much but instead focused on boring shit like the indigenous population we keep killing slowly.

Tencent also gets one of about a dozen votes for NBA Finals MVP for some fucking reason.

I’ve also never heard The Worldwide Leader use bumper music from GnR’s Chinese Democracy, so the fix is definitely in over there.

Tencent also owns 5% of Activision Blizzard, who are also in the news for banning a Hearthstone player for supporting the Hong Kong protests.

ESPN is worried about pissing off Tencent, the massive Chinese internet company that it struck a deal with in 2016.

I’m 100% sure that this headline will happen: “Watch Zion Dunk The Dick Off A Basketball”.

At this rate, the only thing that can stop Zion is a pro-Hong Kong tweet!

“If you don’t know what you’re talking about, shut the fuck up!” said Stephen A Smith, shortly before the universe collapsed into an irony-singularity 

“Ladies and Gentlemen, let me say this, I have nothing to say. (Continues talking until the universe expands to the point we all die from Universal Cold Death)“

You know, I’m beginning to think this Stephen A. Smith guy might not be that smart after all.

If the NBA fandom suddenly switched from left-leaning millennials to right-leaning boomers, LeBron, Pop and Kerr would all be told to shut up immediately. The market drives what personality they let their actors take. Anybody who thinks the NBA is “better” than any other league morally is either being intentionally…

China: [fires Rockets]

No surprise that Tillman Frittata only cares about collecting more eggs.

Wow it's almost like China is *really fucking terrible*

You should really gather his articles under the subhead "A Burfict Circle"

Burfict having a job has been proof the NFL doesn’t actually care about player safety for years.