Trust me. Tommy will never get into Cooperstown.

They’re joking that they’re going to go to inflate them because they’re fed up with Brady bitching at them for not deflating them enough. It’s pretty clear.

Unlike Pete Rose, Brady’s actions actually have something to do with playing the game.

Fuckin watermelons comin

How the hell are those text messages not proof?

Please let this be for Brady what gambling was for Pete Rose.

Im 27, just got out of a 7 year relationship and got my first solo apartment.

You forgot the "REMEMBER EVERY DAY THAT IT'S FUCKING AWESOME" in massive letters at the top.

As an only child, I love living alone. Its cohabitation that's hard for me. I'm totes gonna get divorced like 4 times in my life.

I think living by myself has turned me slightly feral.

Regarding sweeping, I cannot emphasize how much a Roomba will improve your quality of life if you live in a small-ish space and have no carpets. Seriously. It'll be the best $300 you ever spend. They also serve as one of those things you can talk to, and cats love them. (Get rid of your cat and get a Roomba instead to…

Honestly, the Seattle area already has two floating bridges, so its not all that far fetched.

For those wondering about blocking nautical traffic, my response is: What traffic? There's no exit past the proposed bridge location.

I have to admit, this is a song that we (by we, I mean a bunch of girls) used to sing as young teenagers at Pony Club in the very early 90's. We all thought we were very funny.

There is a race going on to see who can be the most despicable group of people society has to offer between bad cops, bad frats and bad athletes. I have a feeling that this will end in a photo finish.

Keith got all self-righteous and overreacted to something? NO WAY!

What about milk in your alcohol?

If you're trying to be funny, it's kinda lame. If you're trying to be serious... it's kinda lame. Sorry love.

Hooray!