If the mouth is just a container for teeth--a tooth-pouch, if you will--then it makes perfect sense. You just need more pouch space for all the teeth.

“-Randy and Tammy, MAGA turds from the northern suburbs who have a pickup truck value that exceeds their home value and took money out of Braedyn and Kymlynn’s college fund to renew their season tickets but “aren’t sure” if they’re going to still support the NFL if players keep kneeling”

Uh, it’s in the article.

So, does the NFL do anything at all to help out a player having a mental health crisis or are they just on their own for that?

The Gang Goes to a Football Game

“Sarah:

Speaking as a pathetic Falcons fan, I think all Falcons fans acknowledge deep down they understood that entering the second half, they ought to prepare themselves for a legitimate historic, mind blowing meltdown/comeback that would make the Falcons the NFL’s justifiably permanent laughing stock. Forever.

The “experts” fully expect the Dolphins to go 3-13, 2-14 or even 0-16. This will not happen. Here’s what WILL happen and remember, you read it here first. The Dolphins will stun the pundits by starting the season 3-1, including a couple semi-stirring wins. They will then drop their next seven. Then they’ll win three…

Nelson:

Lots to process here, but I can’t get past the fact that the Lions have won FOUR STRAIGHT GAMES against this team. When Detroit has made you their bitch....man I can’t even finish this thought

Mark my words, it’s going to get real bad.

“Hi, I’d like to report a murder.

I wonder how much they paid him to do it

It’s like they removed the part of his brain that experiences joy.

It’s like they removed the part of his brain that experiences joy.

Daniel Jones looks like the actor they’d cast to play Eli Manning in a movie about Peyton Manning’s life.

This fucking team released a hype video of its new quarterback completing short passes. That’s not just setting the bar low, that’s burying it — probably because they intend to let Eli run this team until he’s dead.

Bryan:

Sometimes I read these and think “Wow, Magary’s really funny. He made all these jokes and exaggerations about the Ravens/Bears/Seahawks/Whoever. He’s so clever, that Drew. Ha ha ha ... so, so funny. Deadspin is really lucky to have him. Guffaw”