I am. Come on, this is just going overboard with the niche stuff. How many segments do you need? This is marginally different from their hatchback segment car. It's like 2 inches higher off the ground and has different design elements. If it sells, power to them, but damn if it isn't overkill.

I'm not being intentionally obtuse. It's gimmicky marketing.

So it's a Cooper with AWD and that requires a new model name?

It's easy to understand. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying they're making the same thing with different names. It's like releasing a Ford Fusion, then changing the badges and some of the design on the car and releasing that as a Ford Fission. They spent money and time on this when they already had a 2-door…

Since it's entirely pointless to have the same car with a different name. Seriously, what is the point of this?

Right, but it's a 2-door hatchback. The Mini Cooper is already a hatchback.

Confused. Isn't this what the Mini Cooper is supposed to be?

He has a very punchable face.

Yeah, this definitely won't cause wrecks as drivers flip out over having their ear drums destroyed.

Ya'll realize Buchholz has basically used his hair as a water tank for the past year+ when pitching and uses enough sunscreen to cover a nation, right?

Papa John is wasted again.

I don't know if Wall Street fraud counts as "earning it." Same for trust fund babies.

Musk is gonna need a lot of steroids to fight all those pumped-up bros in Jersey.

Gonna go with the unused Elise tubs theory. Probably a decent deal for them to sell these off in bulk to D.E. and be done with it.

2,000 ponies? They're gonna need some big-ass turbos for that. And then there's reliability.

What a dick.

Thanks for the internet diagnosis there. Calling me a pussy is a clear sign of you having a solid argument, internet tough guy. Shit, I dunno what I'm gonna do with myself now that a teenager thinks I'm a pussy.

Have fun wrapping it around a tree. I'm sure you're a total #pro with the wheel there.

Depends on how you define that. The douchewagon in question was doing so on public roads in traffic. That's fucking stupid. Besides, if you can afford a GT3, you can afford a track membership.

Sweet Jesus. Look, child, please understand that although it is #cool and #rad to fantasize about driving an expensive car irresponsibly on public roads, that often times leads to #crashes and #pain and #medicalbills and #insurancebills and sometimes #death. Video games are not real and there's no "Restart" mode in…