I'm a doctor who has seen plenty of patients with Salmonella poisoning. It's not a big deal and Eric Limer is none of those things. Calm yo tits.

Yes. Burn all the things!

The entire time I'm scrolling I'm screaming, "Is this a thing?!!... Is this still a thing?!?!" Haha. I just can't believe some of these species still exist in the modern era... I can't believe some of them even exist at all.

Dear Lauren Davis,

Haha! Even if you got salmonella, it would probably just be a day or four of watery diarrhea and abdominal cramps... Not the end of the world! People are occasionally hospitalized for dehydration.

Why does anybody even give someone like this the time of day?! I guess it's just to point out how freaking ridiculous they are, but I'd rather not even give them the satisfaction of being covered by the news. I'd rather make out with a comatose homeless person on heroin who hasn't bathed in 3 weeks than even be in the…

I didn't mean to get into a gender identity fight ffs. I'm merely pointing out that "it" is hardly human sounding at all.

Ughhhh, people who call babies "it" drive me crazy. But I'm pretty sure you were doing that just to be a smartass. People don't actually do that right? ....right?!

I'm more than into that sort of thing...

Dearest Meredith,

"I got a degree in Mechanical Engineering, Study IT, and I'm also quite knowledgeable about a lot of other machinery."

That's basically the chubbiest/cutest horsey ever! I want to pet it.

I looked briefly at the graph and all I could gather was:

her?

SPOILER.

Haha, Leslie! This is like the most random freaking Gizmodo article I've ever read! This shit looks like it belongs on Jezebel.

Haha, I thought the exact same thing. When I saw the beer overflowing, I was just like "yikes....."

Because it's pretty? Duh.

I wasn't really addressing the Office365 aspect (with the cloud storage, etc.). I'm addressing the fact that people who have been waiting since like 2007 (!!) to have Office on their iPhone/iPad can finally get it, but only if they want to pay Microsoft $100 per year. That is insane.

But why in God's name would they want to shut out an entire group of people (myself included) who would love to have Microsoft Office on their iPhones/iPads for a one time fee?!!