Still a lot of catching up to do catch Adrian Peterson or Antonio Cromartie.

As a Bulls fan I am torn by the “best team ever” theme vs. “LBJ is the GOAT” at the end of this season.

If LeBron lost his shit and threw his mouthpiece at a fan while leaving a Finals elimination game, he’d be crucified for it for the next decade or more.

Claiming the game is rigged is a fine way to keep people coming at your family for no reason.

Racial profiling is terrible. Like, people look at me and just assume that I love mayonnaise when, in reality, I only kinda like it.

He’s like the Jimmy Dean mascot...with some sort of palsy.

These are all great options, but I’m damned if that sun doesn’t make me crack up every time I see it.

It’s gotta be Kingley. The derp level of that thing is off the charts.

This team will be more competitive than Edmonton in under 3 years of existence.

I swear I’ve actually done three of those, although two of them are really just the same janitorial job.

Full Kit Wanker

Kessel, buddy, I know I’ve mentioned this before but c’mon down to D’s Six Pax and Dogz in Regent Square. Awesome beer list. They even have ice cream sandwiches now.

I hope he just brings the Cup to Steve Simmons’ house and sits on his front lawn. The Canadian hockey media have proved once again that they know less about the sport they cover than any other group of sports media. Hey, what do ya know? The best posession team after the all star break won the Stanley Cup! Not only…

There is a 100% chance that the Stanley Cup contains more hockey player DNA than Elisha Cuthbert’s mouth

I loved their reasoning for their picks. “We built a team to beat Team Canada.”

Kessel will spend the day in a Chrysler LeBaron sitting outside of Steve Simmons’ house while eating hotdogs out of the Stanley Cup.

This is your regular reminder that if it weren’t for St. Mario, we’d be honoring the Stanley Cup champion Kansas City/Hamilton/Seattle Penguins.

If I’m Phil Kessel, I’m taking out a full-page add in the Toronto Sun which would read “KISS MY ASS, STEVE SIMMONS. Signed, Phil Kessel, Pittsburgh Penguins.”

If I were him, I wouldn't call my accusers lazy. They tracked him down at 1am to run a few miles.

This guy, Jeremy Bradford, is doing it legit, about 50 miles a day in 10-12 hours of running. He has about a week to finish.