hehe

Saturday I'm at some stupid themed frat party... until too much momentum had died off by the next time I saw her... Nevertheless, I still hit on her every chance I could the rest of the year

We like basketball... we like Christmas.

I'm going to put on a shooting clinic during the break

'Club Mex' is also the alias Michael Vick uses when he frequents Delilahs.

But Valentine brings with him many unanswered questions.

Upon arrival, at least one Trustee was disappointed after realizing that the 'fancy table skirts' he was promised had nothing to do with the lunchtime entertainment.

+1 mangled hand smoothie

The fuck you talking about? It's right there.

At the risk of sounding like a contrarian, I think the original PBR bowl goes back a little longer than 9 years.

Details about the victim remain sketchy, but since McClain missed his head, I think we can safely assume it wasn't Bill Romanowski.

But if Drew only has one hot dog experience in Chi-town, it's got to be late night at The Weiners Circle.

If he's flying out of O'Hare, it's not too far out of the way to get to Superdawg.

All charges will be dropped once police realize that the victim is, in fact, a Barbary corsair.

WHO NEEDS EXTENZE WHEN THERE'S ANNA TORV. STARTING TO WORRY 'BOUT YOU, BRAH....

You really want to go through the looking glass, you'll even 'heart' yourself.

Shit, we gotta get throug those fucking 'Sconnies tonight first. Hope that embarrassing UNLV game actually made the boys wake up.

Getting really, really drunk in the United lounge at Dulles, then continuing to slip farther into a drinking coma as I board my flight at 10.

This triumvirate of death will be completed when Charles Barkley is found dead later this week in a Panera dumpster, still grasping a stale elephant ear in one hand and half of a discarded bacon turkey bravo in the other.