Well at least trading for Beck is paying off for someone- bd's had a hell of a time last year trying to promote their 2010 line of Redskins-centric creations , the 'Dutch Ovens'.

Also an accurate representation.

I regain my balance and control of my penis and continue as if nothing happened.

Being the copy editor for this guy has to be exhausting- Robinson's first draft was twenty hand-written page of 'Oh yes My Precious very nice' over and over again.

'Bandwagon Trifecta' is also how Jeffrey Dahmer referred to the smörgåsbord he put together on October 21, 1977. Tasted great, but ooooh that smell...

+1

Well, I for one think that Pitino and Louisville would make a great addition to the ACC. In fact I've started a local petition in Chapel Hill promoting the idea, and will be going door-to-door over the coming weeks gathering signatures. Why, in the first day alone I've received 20 signatures and only 4 puncture…

Further confusing the matter, the players' only comment to the media after the match was 'Blow it out your ass'.

The young man's achievement seems somewhat diminished once you realize they were playing on DK mode.

I wish I could find the picture I had of when Jeremy Green stopped by grandparents house in Cleveland for lunch when I was a kid. You can't really see him in the picture, though, since it was also a wood table. You'll just have to trust me- he was definitely there.

When asked his motivation for shooting the fleeing leader, the young man answered 'Simple- I was following Cashman's example of 'plugging bitches''.

The saddest part of that sign? It's Nyjer Morgan holding it.

Jesus, did you have a seizure? Are you OK?

That settles it- Hannah Storm is definitely not a morning person.

My girlfriend keeps leaving hints that she wants to go on a vacation soon. I'm trying to figure out a way to convince her that the Nazca Desert is beautiful this time of year.

Not sure if you saw it before when I talked about it a couple months ago, but you should check out Resolute. It spans the mid-1800s, so it's nice reading about something from that time that doesn't center on the Civil War. It's about the HMS Resolute that was lost trying to find the northwest passage and the…

I'm sure Chad will calm down and this whole thing will blow over. I mean, when's the last time misunderestimating a Texan came back to bite anyone in the ass?

I tried something similar with dominoes to help raise money for my baby brother who has cri du chat, but every time I'd lay about 2 feet of dominoes, he'd let out some god awful scream and scare the shit out of me, causing me to knock the whole stack over.

I wish he threw out first pitches in Houston too.

If they'd wanted to make the setup even more realistic, the beer to the right of the pumpkin should be a warm can of Bud Light Lime.