You don’t understand. It’s a rite of passage, like the opening credits of “Kung Fu,” where Kwai Chang lifts the cauldron, burning dragon motifs into each of his forearms. This is the same, except the burns are on the palms of the hands and the motifs are sleigh bells, tiny reindeer and other twee shit.

I just thought of a new drink to go with it: Make a manhattan in an oversized shot glass, drop it in a higball filled with sake. Drink this twice, then tell the world you did it so no one has to ever again.

That’s why you have warm woolen mittens to go with bright copper kettles!

just like the Crimson Permanent Assurance...

At that point the millenials might be able to afford to buy a home and hold an actual adult party, so they'll slide easily into that role.

Coming soon: German Gas Chamber cigar humidor

Look at it this way: These racists and racist feelings among many have always been there, simmering away, but they’ve remained hidden. Now thanks to Trump, you know who in your family and Facebook is, frankly, racist. You can choose to ostracize them from your life if you want. Trump gives them a psychological…

So lets say I tell you a person has died. That’s a bummer, right? But you know, people die all the time. Maybe it was old age. Maybe they had a dangerous occupation.

The fans booed the Paris moment of silence because Turkey is not the country Westerners think it is or want it to be. Turkey has become deeply conservative and Islamist under Erdogan and it is hurting our war on ISIS, thanks to its horrible actions against the Kurds.

This article’s description of the Kurds’ actions in…

Why show solidarity with Turkey for the Ankara attack when that was either orchestrated by or allowed to happen by the Turkish government. I show my solidarity with the Kurds, the only folks in that region with any goddamned sense.

What would you have the west do? Serious question, what’s the plan here. We’re all ears.

This is timely, my husband and I had a huge fight about housecleaning two weeks ago. You know, our marriage was like a lovely vase with a hairline crack. When it was just sitting on a shelf, it was beautiful. When we put water in it( children) I saw all the flaws.

I was in a physics lab group with 3 guys. They would seriously ask me which labs they had missed or needed to finish and expect me to know or care. Somehow, they thought I was group secretary. After they got a few 0s, they learned to keep track of their own shit.

“We’ve seen some theories as to why men persist in slacking off on the domestic labor front”

My cousin’s husband posted this on facebook yesterday so I quoted this on the post:

He’s Irish? His wikipedia says he was born in Brooklyn and refers to him as an American comedian. Someone should fix that.

If I were buried alive and had to dig myself out only to be rebuked at the door and freeze to death...yeah, I’m pretty sure I’d come back as a real ghost and haunt every mothafucka up in there.

Coming here to say exactly that. I know ghost stories make for fun family lore, and I get that folks experience sleep paralysis or have homes that make strange sounds. It’s probably very fun to make up a story and enter it in this contest. But since we live in a world of logic, there’s nothing actually *frightening*…

Scissoring away in too-sheer leggings, with a Doctorate in one hand and keys to the Prius in another.

Why I gotta wear more clothes than Jesus in Church tho.