I don’t know if this will make you feel better but I think “bad timing” is a cop out excuse. If he wanted you guys to happen, he would not have let a three week relationship stop him.

Oh god, I would. I spent so much time and energy on total d-bags that I wouldn’t spit on now.

I’m struggling to think of any comedian, male or female, who isn’t self -deprecating because that’s kind of what comics do; mine their own lives for laughs, and most of them are just neurotically self-loathing.

I keep hearing this but personally, if I don’t get to come, I get fucking pissed. Especially if the guy has come all over me and I have to deal with clean up. Rapidly cooling sperm is gross, I better be getting an orgasm.

I haven’t had sex in two years and I’ve gotta be honest, I don’t miss it at all. I have a vibrator and a lot more free time now with the added bonus of not having to deal with a strange guy in my house that I have nothing in common with apart from mashing our genitals together. I’ve had truly great sex in the past,…

Psychologically speaking, unbroken and prolonged eye-contact is just as creepy as not making eye-contact at all. The ideal is a few seconds of eye contact with micro breaks looking away or at other parts of the face.

Australian here and it’s the same here. You can believe in anything you want but TALKING about it to other people outside of church/temple/mosque is just the height of bad manners and such a social faux pas. I have no idea what most of my friends or co-workers believe. I only know one of my friends is a Muslim because…

Oh god, I would pray for people to ask me this on a daily basis just so I could histrionically fall to my knees clutching my wrist in front of my face screaming “NO, NOT AGAIN PLEASE GOD NO, WHYYYYYYY!!??”

This is what bonfires were made for

The only book I’ve laugh cried in public at was He Died With A Falafel in his Hand. It’s very Australian though so I don’t know if the humour translates. The movie was a total travesty that in no way reflects the absurdity of the book.

I’m reading a book about the epidemiology of the Black Death and the cover is a medieval painting of bubo covered people being piled into a mass grave. I always have a spare seat next to me in the train now.

Ugh, I’m a pretty social and extraverted person and I don’t mind chatty work lunches but sometimes, I just want to read my book or stare out a widow and not talk to anyone and then I get these faux-hurt comments about how I’m avoiding people and being a loner. Like how fucking exhausting must it be to literally never…

You married a person who’s only criteria for a husband was that they interrupt them so, I don’t know how useful this is for women with higher standards than that, which is everyone hopefully.

Not even then, because you know nothing about that person’s taste in literature. I used to work in a library and one of the most irritating things was when people would ask me “What’s a good book to read?” to which I’d respond with questions about genres they liked or other authors they’d enjoyed and I’d get this…

Women do ask men out all the time. They just don’t harass strangers on the street because they think they’re fuckable. Women generally don’t approach dating as a numbers game where if you hit on enough people one of them will sleep with you. Shockingly most women want to know a bit about a man before they decide if…

Well to really and truly worship Satan as an entity you basically have to accept the entire Christian theology as real including the existence of God. Which most Satanists don’t. Satan as the LeVeyan’s see him is just a symbol of human nature, both the good and bad. Nothing more or less really.

Fact: 90% of the CDC’s budget is spent on bad wigs.

I think it was an excellent way for some of the more hardline conservative Catholics to undermine a pope who’s making a lot of noise about things they don’t agree with.

It’s estimated that a summit attempt costs around $500k. There is an actual line at the top of Everest of people waiting to summit, spend their 5 minutes taking selfies and then leave so the next one can have their turn. It’s just rich wankers trying to out wanker all the other wankers at the country club.

Yeah, given the empty seats surrounding them you’d think alienating an entire demographic would not be the smartest move.