I picked Trump because if I’mgoing to hate myself, I might as well go all in.

My abortion was the easiest goddamn choice of my life. I’ve spent longer trying to decide between the fish or the chicken in a restaurant. I was 18 and absolutely, positively not going to give birth or be a mother.

I do live in Australia and I still don’t kill spiders. I found a python in my shed last week and put it in a pillow case and took it down to the bush at the end of my street to release (the snake catcher charges $50, I mean, it’s not rocket science, come on guy). A lot of the same people who get all up in arms about…

No, but there is Trump and I honestly can’t believe people aren’t more scared of him than hypothetical Muslims. He could do real, actual damage as opposed to pretend, fictional damage.

Her hair falling out would only improve that fucking horrible sister wife thing she has on her head

I see this argument a lot and I don’t agree. There is no pure religion absent human interpretation. What is religion if not what its practitioners do in its name? Is it the original texts? The original practitioners who are all dead? Religion, like language, is malleable. If it doesn’t change, it goes the way of the…

The only women who’re real people are the women they’re legally and morally not allowed to fuck.

Ugh, it’s enough to make you sew up your vagina.

Oh man, this is me exactly. Skyrim was the game that forced me to stop gaming since I was spending so much time on it and it didn’t look like I’d ever be really finished. I just can’t afford the time any more. Now I just read about new games. :(

I think this is probably the crux of the issue. We get a mandatory 4 weeks paid holidays in Australia and most Australians start travelling after high school and pretty much never stop. It’s expensive (probably more expensive than the US) but it’s also prioritised as something important to do. Like, you’ll drive a…

I hope they were going to give it an equally patronising name! “Boy talk” sounds like an 80’s prog-rock boy band.

Just like men say they “don’t know” how to do laundry or clean toilets or make a bed!

As a foreigner, the best way to annoy a Texan is to pretend you’ve never heard of Texas. Blank stares and a “Oh is that one of the little states near the top? -Giggle!-” is a winning strategy.

I’m not American but I don’t understand why you guys don’t just let the south secede to form the Christian Taliban government they so clearly desire. Think how much revenue would be available when the red state tax dollar drain is gone!

Or the white guys who continually shoot up schools.

So you think a teacher putting a suspected bomb in her desk drawer and not taking any measures to ensure the safety of the student body from this suspected device is a good judgement call? We had to evacuate the whole school on the basis of a phone call and she has what she really thinks it’s a bomb and literally all…

It was a pencil case that looked like a suitcase. It was probably not even 20cm long.

I know you’re like “the cool guy” around here who everyone high fivesfor your rapier wit, but for fucks sake, this woman was raped twice and he specifically asked for such a low amount so she wouldn’t be believed.

You’re joking right? You typed those words out to be funny, because no one would actually write that and think that deserved a serious response, right?

This is why you need to implement the Australian habit of calling everyone “mate”. Young, old, male, female, the word mate is for everyone.