If you asked me to make a purposefully rapey slogan I still couldn’t come up with one that rapey.

...and probably full of roofies.

It’s not that we’re not disappointed, we’re just too polite to say so.

BRB, going to write a series about abortion clinic doctor murders. Twist :the murderer is the hero!

Having been a bridesmaid 7 times now, is take the food bank over literally any other wedding related shit any day of the week.

The grooms father works for the charity. I think he knows how his charity works. But feel free to keep talking about how things work in America. People love that.

Thank you! I said that to a girl at work the other day who would not shut up about her bloody artisnal broth. Despite protesting that they’re totally different things she couldn’t actually articulate what those differences might be.

Cruz’s face is the physical embodiment of a sad slide whistle.

Tonic water and fresh lime juice is a nice “grown up” drink that you can add vodka or gin to if you like. It’s refreshing, tastes interesting enough to drink all night and is sugar -free. If the thought of drinking soda all night makes you feel ill or like you’re at a kids birthday party, it’s a good alternative.

As an addendum, I think it’s important to decide if you want to spend time with people who are going to hassle you if you choose not to drink. I’m in my mid-30’s now so someone is always pregnant or just decided to cut back a bit and no one gives a shit. You shouldn’t have to pretend to be drinking or to have to…

Poon means vagina in Australia so this pleases me.

Try being Australian who’s never seen an episode of Gilmore Girls.

Patrick Bateman?

Indignantcaucasian was too hard to spell.

So you’re using that phrase in a way that no one else uses it, but somehow expect everyone to know what you mean?

I’m going to go ahead and assume that both their last names were Crosswhite before they got married as well.

Or biology.

That one was transcendent.

Woah there with your “outside the US” talk. I’m Australian and even in the city outdoor cats are pretty controversial. Our wildlife is very very fragile and have only been exposed to feral threats like cats and rats for 200 years which is nothing like the amount of time species have been cohabiting in the UK. If you…

I don’t even bother commenting “happy birthday” to people unless I know them well enough to leave a more personal comment than “Have a great day!”. It’s utterly pointless.