Only in America, mostly. I don’t think many parents in shithole countries tell their idiot kids not to eat Tide PODS.

Gun manufacturers don’t make laundry detergent.

Just add a label saying: Contains GMO, Gluten and MSG.

Fun family story! “When the Mongols Raped Great-Grandma.”

I voted for you for the ASG, Kyrie.

Someone’s been listening to the 7th floor crew!

Racism. When Greg Olsen threatens to jizz in a woman’s eye, he gets nominated for the Walter Payton Man of the Year Award.

“Such an effect is minuscule and could cause a broadening of Earth’s orbit equal to less than an inch a year.”

my family on my father’s side we have names going back to 1770 in the United States. before then we believe it would be British. On my mother’s side will find out in the near future when my grandmother hooks me up with the knowledge.

to explain the difference between a strip club and a gentlemen’s club

Alcohol improves my relationship. I don’t think I could stay married to my wife if I were sober 100% of the time.

Oh man. Have a heart.

“And then I said, ‘The Lady IS a Tramp!’ HAHA! Eh, eh! You get it.”
“For the last fucking time, I’m not Tony Bennett.”

No need to limit to sports. This is a very on-point criticism of political journalism (which spent the day creating a story about Oprah running for President).

Whatever. Deadspin has been running what I can only assume are native content ads for a dating service for months:

Air Bud was like The Godfather to me as a kid.

I think you mean Jeremy Shockey. They did get Olsen that year, but I don’t think he has any visible tattoos. Just a third leg.

That’s not what happened.

Ashley Wagner should stay ready as an alternate.... from the screenshot above, I think they might all drown.