Why do they all have such stupid heels? I'd wear the hell out of the Maleficent ones if they just had a normal heel.

Yeah...I don't know. There's a really expensive specialty bra store here that several of my friends have gone to. They've all come out with the revelation that their actual size is a tiny band and huge cups. Every one of them was so excited to learn that they're *actually* skinny girls with giant porn tits (the bra…

A thin, beautiful white woman with blonde hair lands the cover of Vogue?

Actual teenager Avril Lavigne? Kind of adorable.

I'm drinking scotch on the rocks, because tomorrow I have a second date and I am NERVOUS. It's been a long time since I was this excited about a gentleman. All attempts to be cool about it have failed. Help!

Can you eat them? Because giant escargot could be your new thing, Florida...

I kind of had the opposite OKCupid experience.

Something about Chloe Grace Moretz irritates the hell out of me. I don't know why.

Holy shit. That should NOT roll off your back. She is an asshole. Cut her out of your life. She doesn't deserve your friendship.

God, it's embarrassing being white sometimes.

Zing. You are correct.

This is actually really good. Jim should stay off Twitter, but this is a solid sketch. Plus, fuck Hee-Haw.

These two come to mind: http://thehairpin.com/2011/05/january-jones-to-zach-galifianakis-leave-now

I've often wondered if January Jones has Aspberger's. My (extremely limited) understanding is that it often goes undetected in women, especially beautiful women, who are written off as ice queens instead. There are all kinds of stories about her struggling with basic social graces. She has trouble smiling…

At last! A black woman joins an outdated, oppressive, and ridiculous institution. Hooray!

I read this as 'Chris Hayes Awesomely Gives a Shit about Dentistry', and I thought to myself "Well, oral health IS important!"

You know what the Millennials' real problem is? It's that baby boomers are fucking greedy. They've created an economy in which no one but them gets to have stable jobs, high-paying jobs with good benefits.

Why aren't the men's right's activists protesting this bullshit? This is the kind of simpleminded, reductive, "durr, men like meat!!!" sexism that's actually bad for men (and women. And everyone).

Well, Provincial healthcare benefits are pretty good too. But yes, Kids in the Hall are fab.

That's not a Peter Pan collar! That is a Lacoste collar! Peter Pan collars are always rounded.