Oh look, my left eye just started twitching.

I drifted one around my neighborhood as a kid. 4.3 liter v6 RWD, she had some giddyup.

Coaches are gonna coach. They just stare at those unused timeouts like Smeagol stares at the ring. God forbid you don’t use a fucking timeout when your team is absolutely firing. I have nowhere near the basketball IQ of a coach yet even I, an idiot, understand the importance of momentum in the game of basketball. Just…

Contract. There is a contract. Davis is under contract. He is by definition not being held “hostage”.

So are you gonna just ignore the fact that AD is still under contract with the Pelicans? Which is literally a written statement of ‘I agree to play here for x amount of years at x amount of dollars?

“tHe pElIcAnS aRe a tErRiBlE oRgAnIzAtIoN aNd sHoUlD tRaDe aNtHoNy dAvIs tO tHe lAkErS fOr tWo sTaLe sAlTiNeS aNd a pApEr cLiP.”

“The defense, such as it is, for all of this is that it’s not new, that LeBron and his people were afforded similar preferential treatment in previous career stops”

I hate this so much. 

I’m a Heat fan which partially influences my opinion. But yes, while their record has not been great since LeBron left, they refuse to talk and have been besieged by bad luck since LeBron’s departure. So if it’s about not rewarding pure incompetence, I think they make a decent case for it.

*cough* or the Miami Heat *cough*

So you’re saying Zion should have gone to the Lakers or the Knicks? Two teams who also quite clearly fucking suck? Ok, got it.

I mean, who wants a video of them getting a handjob from a sex worker to be released to the public? 

You can keep telling yourself that. Just know that you are wrong. I sincerely hope that someday your life will improve.

What happened to you?

Ok. whatever you say golf cart boy. 

I’m in my 30s. I still play the circle game. Dunno whether that makes me sad or happy. Gonna go with happy.

Spoken like someone has no idea what they’re talking about. I’ve drifted, a real car, with an ICE engine, a stick, and a hand break. I’ve broken traction at 130+ miles per hour in one of the several endurance races I’ve driven in. But you do you. Enjoy your juiced up golf carts.

Cool. Maybe everyone will stop gargling boy-king Brad Stevens’s balls now. 

Cool. It’s still boring. 

Or not because that’s not what I suggested at all.