I‘m not wearing hockey paaaaadssss.

Females everywhere thank you for avoiding future relationships.

“I’d rather go without the female contact and be happy with what I’ve got.”

THANK YOU

Actual footage of the representatives:

“I was praying for her salvation. I was praying that she would come to know the one true God.”

I bind you, Iowa legislature, from doing harm!
Harm to your state and harm to your constituents!

I’m pretty sure if Jesus was there, he’d be all like “where the fuck did all these Pharisees come from?”

God I love when they’re all directly confronted with what inclusion means. If you’re gonna let one religion in, you have to let them all!

Pictured: Barack HUSSEIN Obama uses his Muslim powers to give entire islands The Gay to keep them from telling the truth about #BENGHAZI.

Of course, that’s harder said than done when he has superpowers and can move at mach 20 .

Manatees are totally chill and will gladly take your picture if you ask.

I don’t understand the fun of ocean swimming. Who could enjoy swimming above a giant abyss filled with monsters. I don’t even like lake swimming because of the chance of a salmon touching my leg

Arizona fucking sucks big donkey balls.

That poor girl; what a nightmare.