Ain’t got time to watch the thing I get paid (maybe?) to write about, but here, let me tell you more about how cool it is to be the only adult member of the Derped God fanclub.

I came here to write THIS EXACT COMMENT. Well put.

you forgot “overly wordy” as well...

Haisley at his finest again

I, like most sane sports fans, only sort of half-watched the U.S.-Ecuador match while devoting most of my attention on LeBron and company’s noble attempt to do what me and my coworkers try to accomplish every day, which is make Kevin Draper cry.

you write for the screamer, but you hardly watched the game last night...jesus chirst do we appreciate your dedication to your job...

I, like most sane sports fans, only sort of half-watched the U.S.-Ecuador match

“I, like most sane sports fans, only sort of half-watched the U.S.-Ecuador”

Well, if she was any more well-known, they would have shot her character in the face.

fuck off

When did that happen?! I used to have all of Cracked Rear View on my 90s Spotify playlist!

I don’t think they are giving Blizzard enough credit. Yes, the idiom is a strange one to have as a family motto or on a scroll. Rather than “anticlimax”, what it really means is “the end result doesn’t meet up with positive expectations”. However, the literal translation of the idiom is, “a dragons head, but a…

I just use daily disposable ones, ultimate cleanliness :)

I love Jezebel. I’ve read it just about every single day since I was 17 (I'm 22 now). I’ve hardly ever commented, but I’m just saying I’m not some rando. Very disappointed that there was a spoiler in the title of this post. I know that a lot of people talk about how we shouldn’t be so worried about having things…

NO ONE CARES

My plan would eliminate 98% of texting or phoning while driving within 6 months.

I look forward to PRESIDENT TRUMP focusing on a Brady-friendly judge to nominate to the Supreme Court.

“That’s not how you play hide the cigar...”

They have unlimited money to jack him off? Where can I find a deal like that?!

That’s not how we pronounced it as kids. *sniffles, fixes*