Or maybe your dad’s telling stories.

Someone else figured it out, it was NetBus.

Yes! That triggered it! Netbus! Thank you!

You probably got hit by some sort of griefing malware type situation. They were all the rage back in the day, and could do stuff like that. I can’t remember what it was called, but there was a piece of software that people used to install for fun and it could do that sort of stuff. I wish I could remember the name,…

More bootyfingers for the rest of us.

Is it slower than the Wire? I remember every season, without fail, it was take 5 episodes to get to that ‘oh shit can’t go to sleep until i finish the season’ mode, and then it would just be a runaway train of awesome. I won’t put any spoilers here, but for those who have seen it, go look at the summaries of every…

This is the correct answer. If you’re letting a tongue anywhere near your butthole, you’ve definitely already given the a-ok for a finger or two.

Wait, what was Charlemagne’s answer?!

Most days my natural hair sends a message to the world I’m a dad to a 4-month-old just trying to keep my head above water, having given up on much semblance of personal upkeep.

I’m not sure what my life is going to be like once I’m completely caught up on Sports Jeopardy. A big, Dan Patrick-sized hole in my life.

I was holding out hope for Crackle. Just to hear Chris Rock yell “Crackle”

In my j-school media law class, we talked about becoming libel-proof, and the example that best illustrated it was Bill Clinton. He’s fucked up so many times with regards to sexual stuff, you can say almost whatever you want about him cheating/sexing people not named HRC/etc. The way the prof described his issues? …

Totally great job, but not exactly stunt driver or international spy on the cool scale.

Wait, the guy with a naked upper lip who’s been hosting a quiz show for 30+ years is calling someone ELSE a loser? Lame.

Nope Newt, sorry. A bad flight is when Southwest runs out of those delicious Plane Cookies.

I’m not sure how I feel about a parachuting trick named after a character that goes splat over and over and over again.

Cam “The Bunny” Newton

I dunno guys, whatever night cream she uses to look the same as she did in 10 Things is probably pretty expensive. Pay up BET.

My 4mo-old kid is going to the pumpkin patch for the first time this weekend.

“I don’t care what Kathie Lee has to say, her previous husband’s a cheater and a groper, and they’re basically the same person”