More confusing is that Infiniti still uses button blanks on their $50,000+ SUVs

That button is meant for one person and one person only.

I always thought it had to do with some sort REALLY late term abortion. Like on the way home from the hospital, or later.

Pty cat says its pty time!

Not really a button, but the Gentleman function of the BMW 7-series would top the list.

The PTY/CAT button, native to many fine Subarus. Experts have been debating what this button actually does since it found its way into Japanese cars over a decade ago. Some say that when this button is pressed, somewhere in the world, a random putty cat is killed. Others say that it puts your car in "PARTY CAT"…

The best AND worst car I've driven this year is my own car, because I'm not a motoring journalist and I only own one car. Goodnight everybody!

Tim McCarver: "Anal crust of a dysenteried goat."

Caity Weaver: "A god damn angel."

First thought: doesn't the crane have some kind of evacuation kit that can be hooked on somewhere, then allow the operator to safely descend?

Here Is A Lie
No, I don't think your sister is prettier than you, or has a better body, or is funnier. No way.

You might remember that sometimes you would see someone else's tombstone while on your travels, specifically someone named "Andy"� whose epitaph read, "Here lies andy; peperony and chease."� What?! The story is that a kid named Andy was particularly amused by those Tombstone pizza commercials that growled, "What do…

HERE LIES TONY ROMO. PEPERONY AND CHEASE.

Please, Please! Me!

As with 90% of Deadspin comments, I can see why this would be funny. It has all the right ingredients, it's topical, and involves wordplay... but it still sucks.

Sammy Baugh is 24 years old in that picture.

In defense of not calling a timeout, Carmelo Anthony would have done the exact same thing coming out of a timeout.

The only balloons keeping Ditka up are periodic angioplasties

[sighs]

"Quarter moon? Half I´d say. It´s the moon in it´s last quarter"