That’s a good problem to have, all things considered.

The dude pretty clearly had traction control either off or in Corse, and I’m guessing off entirely based on the yaw rate. Why the hell would you turn it off in a 700-horsepower car, on a public road, in the rain?

For much of that sequence, it is, in fact, a real safe. They put it on Delrin skids to make it slide around.

I think you mean the Pink Elephant. And my guess is they’d be a little more into GT350s and ZL1s over there, versus the McLaren-and-GT3 girls that you find at the Rhino. But I could totally be wrong about that.

Well, I’ve been doing wheel to wheel racing for about 15 years, and if I die doing it, please do say “he died doing what he loved.” Because I know damn well, every time I click into the 6-point harness, that there is a small, but non-zero chance that I will die doing it.

Come to think of it, if there isn’t already an Airplane-style parody of F&F, then there really should be.

This is, without exaggeration, the worst take on Jalopnik since Alanis King threw shade at pizza.

Right now the S-Class color palette is basically six shades of black with different very, very slight color tints, plus four variations on silver/grey. And then white and sparkly white. They know damn well that sparkly white is the best of all these stupid, unimaginative options, because they charge like $4k extra for…

Oh yo ho, my friend! That stunt with the Chargers pulling a safe was filmed practically. It’s not CG. They really did pull a gigantic-ass safe with two Hemi Chargers.

It’s definitely the Eclipse.

My entertainment bone: Let me show you it.

This is good advice. I suspect it will not be taken.

My experience is that prostitutes usually have some strong opinions about what kind of car you should drive if you have six-figure money to spend. They can give surprisingly informed advice about these things.

If they had designed the DBX specifically for men, it would have an Aston Martin logo Fleshlight mounted just underneath the steering wheel.

This was, indeed, a mystery I had pondered but was too lazy to investigate. Thank you for enlightening us!

Oh god. God please no. Not Jaguar. That’s one of the most horrible futures I’ve read about today, and that’s saying something.

I’ve been working my ass off for 25 years and I’m done with false modesty. Splinter and Giz and deadspin can all suckle on my foreskin.

Yes, but the Stinger is the more attractive of the two. Kudos to Peter Schreyer for keeping all the styling details a bit restrained.

Agree. This 8 GC has great proportions, but every single styling detail is like fingernails on a fucking chalkboard. All of the surface detailing is stupid and fussy, the panel cutlines are all a jangly dissonance, we apparently don’t get a real Hofmeister Kink anymore...etc. etc. This is an ugly-ass car.

Yeah, probably not “purist.” Just “enthusiasts” who like their cars to sound nice and not blatty and crappy. There are many good-sounding 4-cylinder cars out there, Porsche 356s and 944s among them. But the 718 sounds particularly annoying and cheap.