I have three complaints about the female writing staff of Jalopnik:

Yeah, inner quarters are part of the crash structure.

^^^ This. Ironically, this is what the VH-platform Astons were so great at. You don’t want to drive a Ferrari 458 from San Francisco to LA, but in a DB9 or a Vantage it’s a perfectly comfortable drive.

Yeah, I shudder to imagine what the procedure is to replace the clutches on that dual-clutch automatic. And they didn’t sell enough of these for the parts to be cheap and available from multiple aftermarket suppliers.

I’m shocked to discover that these things go for $30-40k after 3 years. That kind of money will get you a used C63 or E63, or even an S63 if you go back to the W221 chassis.

^^^ This

Ask yourself this: Has anyone who bet *against* Musk won that bet so far?

I was unwittingly forced to pay for three of these sons of bitches when one of our regional managers decided to make this his fleet car for the sales team. I raised an eyebrow as I authorized the invoice for reimbursement. On my next visit to his region I got to ride in and drive them, and ... boy are they shitty.

“Cock-blocktopus”: SO GOOD!

Yeah, I gotta admit this is kind of hot, and I’m pretty cranky about the current Cayman. But I drove the new-to-me 944S2 to work today, so maybe I’m a little more receptive to 4-cylinder Porsches than usual.

THESE FUCKING THINGS. I hates them.

The point of this thing is to build mining tunnels on Mars, to mine the stuffs to build and fuel permanent human colonies, so Elon Musk can eventually be an interplanetary real estate mogul.

I don’t understand the appeal of craft beer, or in fact any beer that isn’t Tecate or Coors.

A FitBit is a small phone in the same way that basketball is just ping-pong played while standing on the table.

The art direction on Wreck It Ralph is an old friend, and a *huge* car guy. His DD is some sort of superhero-themed Wrangler Unlimited. He used to DD a 240 or 260Z that he painted himself. He’s one of us.

*Kerchow!*

I’m still pretty stupid, but I realize that my reflexes and visual acuity aren’t what they were, and have dialed it back accordingly.

That’s the joke - nobody got to drive it.

Yeah, that’s the one that I covet.