^^^ This

Ask yourself this: Has anyone who bet *against* Musk won that bet so far?

I was unwittingly forced to pay for three of these sons of bitches when one of our regional managers decided to make this his fleet car for the sales team. I raised an eyebrow as I authorized the invoice for reimbursement. On my next visit to his region I got to ride in and drive them, and ... boy are they shitty.

“Cock-blocktopus”: SO GOOD!

Yeah, I gotta admit this is kind of hot, and I’m pretty cranky about the current Cayman. But I drove the new-to-me 944S2 to work today, so maybe I’m a little more receptive to 4-cylinder Porsches than usual.

THESE FUCKING THINGS. I hates them.

The point of this thing is to build mining tunnels on Mars, to mine the stuffs to build and fuel permanent human colonies, so Elon Musk can eventually be an interplanetary real estate mogul.

I don’t understand the appeal of craft beer, or in fact any beer that isn’t Tecate or Coors.

A FitBit is a small phone in the same way that basketball is just ping-pong played while standing on the table.

The art direction on Wreck It Ralph is an old friend, and a *huge* car guy. His DD is some sort of superhero-themed Wrangler Unlimited. He used to DD a 240 or 260Z that he painted himself. He’s one of us.

*Kerchow!*

I’m still pretty stupid, but I realize that my reflexes and visual acuity aren’t what they were, and have dialed it back accordingly.

That’s the joke - nobody got to drive it.

Yeah, that’s the one that I covet.

For 944s at least, that LCD clock is in the “they all stop working” category. The screen just craps out.

Yeah, one clear red flag is when the car is a used Audi. Run away!

True, although I’ve done this job once and vowed that I would leave it to real professionals next time. You can only really DIY it legally if you convert to R34, which involves replacing every goddamn fiddly little O-ring in every part of the system. And then painstakingly troubleshooting it when it doesn’t go back…

Yeah, it feels more like an $8k car than a $10k car, but a *lot* of the things that you’d do to re-furbish a 951 have already been done. I like that head gaskets and fuel lines have been replaced.

But now I’m questioning everything Jalopnik has ever made me believe. Maybe modern Alfas are actually very reliable? Maybe Millenials really can drive manual transmissions?

Yeah, everybody I know who had one was in love with it. It’s one of those cars that seemed to have inspired a lot of loyalty.