The Original Six plus two teams who are geographically located closest to where the only people who remember the Original Six now live.

I'm using a white CF mouse pad I picked up at Best Buy. I like it, although it is a touch too small.

Made me smile.

They were fighting over who would get the premium seat upgrade the Mets offered.

His first name is Pete? Who knew?

Oh hell no.

'crap...explode...in my pants...between us'

Who the fuck names their dog Roops? Is her maiden name 'Doo'?

Perhaps that's the rub. The lack of math skills is telling.

If a million dollars sets you for life, you have a pretty shitty life.

Perhaps you could clue us in on what a non-90s mousepad looks like, because I'm convinced they haven't made any since then.

Most messy desks I see are comprised of one major problem: it's filled with things completely unrelated to what you are doing. You don't need every single Autobot on your desk to get the job done.

Required:

In which car did Michael Bay flee from the scene in?

This will take about five minutes of some court's time.

Sit right behind the dugout and do that.

Dodger tears are tasting sweet tonight.

Same here. Need something to replace Lifehacker and Deadspin.

Don't ever post shit like that here again.

Please stop crossposting that Gawker shit.