*whispers* *faint rustling*

Do you believe in martinis? YES!

The puns were bad and you should feel bad.

Thank you for this. Sincerely.

NE corner of the middle school parking lot. People on the track there (~500ft further away) were injured. Damn.

Fuck. Yeah.

Mickey Hatcher got really fat.

Yup, I occasionally get knots in my shoulder.

TACQB.

So, should I have some sort of white guilt just because I live here? I mean, I was born before the Olympics so naturally I must be more closely related to it.

Hamper-pooper will never not be a funny term.

You misspelled 'Antique Mall'.

'Nobody does, what Papa Johns does.'

This won't be the last time we see him behind bars.