I didn’t say Clarkson, because that would just leave ZombieHammond hungry.

If you haven’t figured out that this car is straight-line speed focused, then I don’t know where to start

3.9L supercharger, 221HP more than a Hellcat, 405CID engine.

I care. So you’re wrong.

you are the coolest dad ever.

Just Valkyrie. But she’s seriously named after the bomber, not the Norse mythological figures. I’m completely serious.

I thought that crate was a challenger! Big, square, made of cheap materials and tons of horsepower made me confused.

Another dimension? Another dimension.

well... it’s a measurement of how fast your car can accelerate... which you can do all the time while driving. so i don’t really see what you’re on about.

Mmmmm... “greatness”

No, just the mold. Why?

This is now canon.

See this shit? This is why you’re Senior Editor, Torch. Bravo.

I like you. My wife and I bought a Plymouth Barracuda back when we were in high school and dating. Yes, incredibly stupid at the time, but we still have that thing, and that was the first joint purchase we ever made.

Fuck this, I’m not dying in Florida

No Lowballers, I know what I have.

Craigslist be like,

According to Doug, who may have at a real job with Porsche at some point in time, the average market price for a 997 Carrera S drop-top is about $59,000. 

Hey, I’m not kidding myself. That joke was terrible even by my standards. It just had to be made.

What do you think you're disagreeing with? All he's advocating is a few minutes, which is exactly what you end up conceding is all right.