No, the government should give them money so their children won't starve. Jesus fucking Christ, seriously?

I met Ming-Na once at a convention for social workers and foster care agencies; she came to the publishing company I worked at because she was interested in writing a children's book for kids in foster care. She walked up to me and said, "Hi, I'm Ming-Na; I think I'm supposed to meet the CEO here?" And I completely…

The insane horror of this aside, don't they worry that this would actually *increase* the number of false rape accusations? After all, it sounds like no one actually has to be convicted of rape, just accused of it, in order for the mother to get TANF. Not that any sane person would do that to another, but you'd think…

OH MY GOD. That was insane. Richard Gere and James Franco are not meant to be gay lovers in that movie, are they? Because those were some of the most burning eye-locks and sideways glances I've ever seen.

Moths scare me so much that I actually get nauseous when I see one. It's incredibly embarrassing, but my four-year-old tries to protect me from them. There was one trapped in our bathroom one night, and as I was trying not to hyperventilate, she said, "Mommy, don't be scared! I'll kill that moth for you!" I'm pretty…

FiveThirtyEight is seriously a bastion of sanity in an insane world. It really does keep me from freaking out when I've been listening to the panic-stricken talking heads shrieking at each other on CNN and NBC too long.

I'm not the only person who remembers the Bouncing Babies game?! Man, I used to slaughter babies by the hundreds playing that game. It was freaking brilliant.

Whatevs. My four-year-old daughter is going to be Evil Spiderman for Halloween, after briefly wanting to be Darth Vader, and no one has ever given her crap for it—I hope this was dramatized for television. Also, this'll be a better world when boys aren't criticized for dressing up like girls—that would mean such a…

My mom and dad sent a telegram to my mother's parents the day their first granddaughter was born. They were only about two hours away, but my parents thought a telegram would be a super-special cool treat as a way to tell them to come to the hospital and meet the baby. It didn't occur to them that telegrams are…

I just came to say exactly that! He is so torn between, "All my instincts say to bury this for later! I'm going to dig a hole! Here I go, saving this marshmall...fuck it, this thing is DELICIOUS."

I was hoping you laughed at her because that is such a shitty, inappropriate, totally illegal thing to ask at a job interview.

I laughed so hard that I snorted. Twice.

You're not alone. Not only did I dislike it (the lace overlay—the dress itself was fine) because it made her shoulders look really odd, and she is way too lovely for that, but that ribbon pin thing was straight-up tacky.

Just do it! I've been there, done that, and it turned out that although he was pretty great in bed, he was an even better friend. We were best friends for most of a decade, and although we're now both married to other people, we still keep in touch. Good looks are just genetics and good nutrition—they aren't what make…

KILL IT WITH FIRE! Fuck, that probably wouldn't even phase it. Kill it with a fucking hydrogen bomb, yo!

:dies laughing

I'm seeing more squashed white rose petals and rubber bands. And now I'm wondering where I can buy some pretty baby blue rubber bands, instead of the ugly beige ones.

My only question is how does "charting your Y chromosomes" let you predict what sex your babies will be?

Congratulations. Marriage practices in a non-Western country have absolutely zero to do with Mitt Romney being completely unable to hire a qualified person to be a member of his cabinet without that person being a man unless he is specifically encouraged to by a women's organization who pointed out the utter lack of…

My brother-in-law used to do that all the time. It was horrifying, but he never got an infection.