No worries—this review is far, far better than the movie itself. Just re-read it a couple of times and avoid ever seeing the film, and you'll be good to go.

Didn't people stop worrying about dyeing your hair while pregnant around about the same time hair dye manufacturers stopped putting lead and mercury in the dye? Good Lord, of all the things to worry about, that one is just stupid.

If they're generally cool folks, I would totally go for it. As a formerly infertile person who eventually got pregnant (twice!), I would have found this hilarious—and still do.

You should tell your friend that if she personally would never, ever in a million years have an abortion, but she thinks that decision should be left up to each individual woman, then she is actually pro-choice.

"You would never write an article called 'Ten Bald Guys Who Are Surprisingly Hot'". Really? Huh.

I was extremely annoyed by the clean and neat Tributes and the fact that they all had perfect teeth. That was definitely a distraction from an otherwise excellent movie.

I think this is fantastic. Another method of encouraging healthier eating that I really like is at the hospital I work at, the cafeteria has little signs up next to each food item, and along with the name, they have nutritional information. The signs are red, yellow, or green, like a stoplight. Green items are…

Nothing says love like having your entire town burned to the ground and almost everyone you know slaughtered in retaliation for your rebellion against a violent totalitarianism!

But isn't it only chocolate cake? I suppose you could have chocolate cheesecake, but I was thinking of just straight-up chocolate cake.

Replying to re-approve because I've showed up in pink a bunch of times when this thing doesn't log in right, and it's annoying as hell.

Replying to promote.

@Goodnplenty, because your comment is too short to reply to directly: Yeah. Google "Rick Santorum fetus in a jar." It really is a thing. And it's freaky.

Oh yeah, placenta art is totally a Thing. Google "placenta stamping" for some lovely internal-organ-as-art-medium examples.

Wow, I totally missed that he was trying to be all humorous-like. Good Lord but his timing is terrible.

I assume he means that Santorum is certainly not good enough to be president, but that he could be Mitt's press secretary.

They didn't—they had three days to train. The game person says that in two weeks they will all be dead, not that that's how long they have for training.

[BOOK 2 SPOILER ALERT]

I just saw it today, and it was actually very, very good. The acting was excellent, the fight scenes were perfect, and Rue and Prim were utterly heartbreaking. I started crying the very first time they ever showed Rue. I love the books, so I was thinking about avoiding the movie altogether in case it was terrible, but…

I agree with Uncommon_Whore: I think the idea of using the people as virtual slaves was originally basically to control them—they can never stop working, and they never have enough food, so all their time and energy has to go just to survival, leaving them no way to rebel. However, it works against the Capitol, which…

Yeah, their mothers have a fairly intense history, although it's not discussed at length, and I thought that really added to the small but important part Madge plays for Katniss. She's a person of privilege who refuses to use that against those who have none, much like Cinna. I just saw the movie today, and I thought…