Reading comprehension, you say? As you fellate the GB “stock” at the same time? Even though some dude already copy-pasted all the parts that prove you’re full of shit? “Reading comprehension.”

“He wants starter money.” Bullshit. Link to a single reputable source quoting Kaep, his agent, or a head coach or FO exec from any team that’s had him in.

secure in the knowledge that the worst thing that could possibly happen to you if you miss is that you’ll be released by a CFL team that no one has ever heard of.

Virginia being the worst state in the nation for drivers, this is a courtroom interaction I witnessed:

Judge: This says your car is too loud. Why are you wasting our time and not just paying the fine?
Plaintiff: your honor, this isn’t even my car, I was just driving it: why penalize a driver and not whoever made the…

Note to NFL players: cupcaking over text with a side piece will be considered by the NFL as a firm commitment to love, honor, cherish, and obey them forever.

Here’s a great way to do that: Make it illegal to attend an Ivy League school if one of your immediate relatives went to one.

Baltimore had Tyrod behind Flacco for what, 4 years? They are very different QBs. And it was fine.

They pay Texas A&M for the rights to put “12" on shit. They are an NFL team that leases a fan club from a college team. Dead serious, this language is at the bottom of their “12s” sites: The term 12th MAN is a trademark of Texas A & M University and its use is pursuant to a license agreement with the university.

I think he might just stick it to his dad

Jeff Sessions is (on paper at least) America’s number-one lawyer and LEO...and he was flustered past control* at his hearing. Junior is a moron assclown, and will be metaphorically prison raped by this panel. The literal prison rape comes later.

* - however, he could have just been insulted a black woman had the…

Because their “superfans” are the biggest collection of self important jagoffs in the NFL. Guys like Dr .Death and that clown in the gorilla costume who honestly think the Raiders are impressed by their dedication to a team that’s been dogshit for 80 percent of its time back in Oakland

But calling a guy from a for-profit Arizona Christian school a “professor” is like calling almond juice “milk.” It’s functionally close enough for people of a specific mental disposition who collectively allowed their own delusion, but you have to ignore the basic rules to pretend that’s what’s happening.

Note that the apples now come from Washington instead of New Zealand.

This is not a team that had any urgent need for Colin Kaepernick on the roster

That is maybe the worst quarter window in automotive history. A clunky black trapezoid set against two curves. What an ugly fucking car.

He is, objectively, better than a handful of starting quarterbacks. He’d be a clear and immediate upgrade in NYJ, CHI, DEN, LAR, JAX, and HOU. At this point in career he’d probably beat out Alex Smith and Eli Manning for their jobs. Cian Fahey made the case that Kaep was better than Flacco. That’s at least 9…

This is disgusting, abhorrent, criminal behavior. By which I mean $1,050 for a bottle of fucking Patron.

If the fire dept. had to extract two people from the car, who were then treated for serious injuries in the crash, and the license plates were on the car, how the fuck was it a mystery who the driver was? Or does this just mean “a mystery to the car community,” in which case, who the fuck cares it’s not our business…

Those SCions have really common issues in the front suspension...can’t remember exactly what...but it’s the kind of thing that once fixed is fixed forever. So look for that on the car’s history, else be prepared to add that to the cost. (I am totally blanking on the specific issue but a mechanic I know just bought one…

I feel like an article called “ladies stop taking selfies with the camera over your head to hide your party chin” or “larger girls please include at least a full 3/4 shot instead of just your face and a push-up bra” would not have been very well received. Lots of women like bald guys anyway, right?

/not a bald guy