A week after hearing about the Heimlich maneuver in school in the 70’s, a little boy I was babysitting choked on a hot dog and I ‘heimliched’ him. It worked like a charm.

Except his parking placard says “CAUTION, GUY FIERI RISK. WEAR PROTECTIVE CLOTHING.” and he’s required by law to use it.

all I know is that whatever the fuck Guy Fieri drives, it’s fucking yellow. it has to be yellow.

I agree in 99.999% of the time... the other was the time my hubby saw a fast-casual waitperson bring the foil wrapped tortillas out for his fajitas under her arm... like, IN her arm pit... At that point, a gentle discussion with the manager was appropriate.

I imagine that it’s either because it’s so slow that there are fewer servers than would be needed to serve all those tables, or because they’re reserved, but the people who booked them haven’t shown up yet.

This. I was at a concert many years ago by the late, great Bo Diddley. Someone in the audience shouted out a request. Bo glared in the general direction of the request and growled, “I don’t come on your job and tell you what to do.”

They are ignoring the needs of everyone else in order to make sure they get what they want. For example if there was a physical line there you can ignore it and simply walk to the front of the line. That is equally resourceful. However it is not polite. Does any of this help explain to you why their behavior is a…

The restaurant certainly did not have to move anyone in front of anyone else l. That’s just the management not being willing to stand up to douchebags.

Did you miss the part where those people were a problem before Open Table even came into it?

Obscuritytown is pretty fond of donkey sauce, now that you mention it.

Um the hostess was great... She did her job, they just were not satisfied with her answers. She refrained from not booting her in the head. She had skills man.

I don’t know if you’ve ever used Opentable but it’s not 100% accurate, I’ve had restaurants call me and cancel my reservation because Opentable wasn’t correct. The restaurant still had final authority over the reservation status

Pure douche. If you’re in the restaurant, you’re in the real world where they really know what's going on... not a machine. Your comment makes it clear that you're a fucking asshole. No one in a restaurant is jerking your chain on the wait times. *eyeroll*

That’s idiotic. Someone can be a certifiable genius and be broke. Just because you’re smart it doesn’t mean that you care about being rich, and just because you’re rich it doesn’t mean you know your ABCs

Or maybe he finally got that one-way ticket to Obscuritytown that he so richly deserves.

Its always upsetting when people to read a column about other people being total asses like it’s a list of helpful hints/life hacks.

Opentable doesn’t account for the actual movement of an average shift. The reservations book is configured to book specific tables at specific times with a two hour turnover rate. Which of course is not always the case. Nor does it really take in consideration that tables may be used for large parties or out of…

So it was a problem with OpenTable and the hostess.

Nah. He drives a Lambo.

I’m sure Guy Fieri carries a “Guy Fieri Parking” placard with him wherever he goes.