Hey restaurant owners: live music is never a good idea if you’re not exclusively a bar. And if you charge me a cover because a band I didn’t know was going to be there starts playing half an hour after I sit down, I’ll find you, get your daughter to fall in love with me, marry her, then convince her to put you in an…

I’ve literally never been to a restaurant that offered unflavored soda water on the menu TO pay for.

Good for Philip Van Cleave! I’m sure that Sacha Baron Cohen is chastened now, and will no longer stoop to manipulative techniques to get people to say basically what they believe but with the veneer stripped away!

My dad’s best life hack was to always buy sushi at the cheapest place I could find it: grocery stores, gas stations, street vendors. It is often just as good as the expensive restaurant stuff. He died recently from a combination of intestinal parasites and food poisoning from an unknown source, but I’ll never forget…

Credit to Van for responding, in the moment and in the face a huge celebrity and icon and not backing down and still delivering some really real shit to Kanye’s face.

Hey, friendly reminder.

Counterpoint: No, it isn’t.

[crickets]

It is an interesting coincidence that Carrey, who became famous for talking out of his ass, is now getting heat for painting a portrait of Huckabee Sanders, who is famous for talking out of her ass.

Having comments be properly threaded and the ability to collapse comment trees. I have to go out of my way to read more than just the handful of comments the system shows at the top, and trying to follow the flow of conversation is just silly.

I know a lot of people don’t like Reddit, but gorram if they don’t have how…

If you have enough stamina its pretty easy, you just have to sneak up on them by crouching and pat them to calm them down. If your near a stable you can board them and you can use them again later.

Wants: Fun & reliable

I’m still bitter about this. Obama should have said fuck McConnell, sent Garland to the Supreme Court, and let the other eight justices settle the dispute.

In a similar vein, it’s common sense that the President shouldn’t be stonewalled from nominating a god damn Supreme Court justice over a god damn year from the god damn election. God damn it.

...graduating from...

It was a Rimowa, which is a high-end luggage brand that usually costs several hundred dollars... Reed never received the suitcase, was quickly refunded his payment of $700, and then went to Neiman Marcus to purchase it there instead. 

Any stories you may hear that involve me, shots of Jameson, something called “Foxy Boxing,” and falling into a fountain are most likely works of pure fiction.

Was looking for the geo cities logo