It took less time to type that on your phone that it takes one of these dogs to get to 60.

I PUT MY HANDS ON 9 AND 3 FUCK OFF WITH YOUR 10 AND 2 MOM

It’s tough to get anyone in Washington to admit to obstruction these days.

Trump gets owned harder and more often by Khans than the Starship Enterprise.

Gah, the Jesus Fish!!! That should be a crime!

“...other students were given awards such as “most likely to be homeless,” and “most likely to cry for every little thing.”

Know what will cost you a lot more than your insurance covering IUDs?

Child support.

Huh, imagine that. It’s almost like a functional society.

Um, if it had nothing to do with the city, then why is the T-Rex short for Torontosauras Rex, idiot.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I find your lack of Comic Sans... disturbing.

“which he paid for with his own money and delivered on his own”. Wouldn’t it be nice, if instead of spending 50 billion on a useless wall, or 50 billion on unnecessary military spending, or 900 billion on tax cuts for the rich, if our police, firemen, social workers and teachers had special monetary accounts available…

Curt, just because you weren’t personally there, doesn’t mean there wasn’t someone screaming racist things.

$100? Man, that’s a stiff fine.

Dao’s attorney: “We’re not just doing this for money...”
Dao: “We’re not?”
Attorney: “We’re doing this for a shitload of money!”

Bitch, I write about real cars every goddamn day! I wrote four other articles about cars and car-related things the same day I wrote this. And the weird obsession isn’t with the crazy group; it’s because of my crazy eyeball/headlight fixation. That’s the root of it all. And not being breast-fed.

Seriously? Three Leatherman tools? You could easily drop two of those. I mean if you are going to carry around a multitool “just in case,” you for sure don’t need three.

Also a $60 knife and $5 pair of calipers? For an “engineer’s” bag the priorities on this set up are WAY off. Get yourself a $5 utility knife and a…

But I can’t hang coats and other clothes off these dumbbells like I do with my elliptical machine and my treadmill.

But I can’t hang coats and other clothes off these dumbbells like I do with my elliptical machine and my treadmill.

This whole “OBEY ANY AND EVERY ORDER YOU ARE GIVEN OR YOUR HUMAN RIGHTS ARE FORFEIT” deal aboard airliners is getting really old.

“What advantages does this war have over, say, an ethnic cleansing, which I could also afford?”