I don’t really trust people who are bad at ikea. When my renters moved I bought the furniture they didn’t want to schlep across the country, and I’ve had to tighten/re-assemble every single thing.

Women play video games? Why that’s a notion so preposterous that I shall need to fetch my fainting couch and smelling salts!

There’s a series of caves where I live, parts of which are sort of fancified and used for weddings and shit, because they were gangster/bootlegger hideouts in the 20s (people have costume parties there a lot). There are a LOT of areas, though, that are just, like, regular caves, with regular cave dangers. Kids go in…

I agree it’s sad as hell and I feel awful for the guy and his family.

As much as I wanted to drink in how out of his mind he sounded, I am genuinely having a hard time laughing. That sounded like dementia. He conflated two separate investigations and kept mixing up names. It was really concerning.

On behalf of guys everywhere, I’m just going to leave the most appropriate .gif here.

Oh, let me also be clear that I don’t care about his dick size. It’s the lying that gets to me.

I might be able to top that. About a year ago I was struck by a car while walking across the street in a crosswalk. It was a woman who claimed she was briefly blinded by the sun. I was in a coma for eight days and in the hospital for three weeks. When I filed a claim for the cost of medical care, she filed a counter…

So a few months ago one of my dogs was attacked and seriously hurt by another dog at the dog park. The owner ran away when she saw that my dog was injured, and when I saw her again, she refused to give me her name because she said her dog only attacks dogs who deserve it, so it was clearly my dog’s fault.

What a fucknut. No David, it’s not out of bounds to discuss the attractiveness of an actor in a review (unless the actor in question is 11 years old like Watson was, you sick fuck). But it is out of line to carry on about it for the entire fucking review, all the while making extra creepy statements like how Israeli…

I’ma go on an off topic rant here about mediocre men here. My office has gone through a bit of shakeup. Our manager too ka promotion, and the job was posted internally. When one employee with literally zero admin or managerial experience had his application turned down he literally quit. Like a big man baby. My…

Oh, to be a mediocre white man.

I desperately want to get on reality TV just so during the initial meetup I can be all, “I’M NOT HERE TO MAKE—oh who am I kidding, I am totally here to make friends! omg, I’m so excited for everyone, this is going to be great! yay! Go us!” ;D . And clock how fast I get booted, lol.

C’est un homme who doesn’t have le temps for your merde, Donald.

Yeah, it’s not right to hit people blah blah blah. But that word is a violent word and an act of aggression.

I’m only sad that the elephant that killed him died.

As a fellow tall person (6' 4"), I can empathize. Hide and seek with my kids is terrible because I am too big to hide pretty much anywhere in our small place.

Jim’s like “hiding behind the curtain worked about as well for me as it did for Polonius.”