Welp. Now I'm just sitting here, a pile of bones, because my skin just crawled right off me in disgust.

"What are you doing tonight?"

Excellent. I have been waiting for the Ed Gein collection to be released. I have some lamp shades I crafted myself, but I could never get enough "material" for a full pouf.

What the article didn't capture - Mike borrowed his big brother's expression of exasperation when he read the Yelp review.

There is no way, NO WAY, I wouldn't have walked up to their table before leaving and said, "You are all despicable. And I just typed out everything you said about women."

Right! It's like having a black president eliminated racism... oh wait...

Right? Isn't that like the saddest silver lining ever? You can't be too young, you can't be too old. Its' almost like there is no way to be a woman and win.

My uncle, who is responsible for some of the hiring within his company, told me this exact same thing, to my face (as a 23/ 24 year old woman) conversationally, as if it was nothing that could possibly offend me.

DING DING DING on the low self-esteem thing. He's looking for someone who is fine with not speaking unless spoken to, and anything that does come out of her mouth had better be perfectly in line with what he thinks. He sounds like a controlling a-hole.

I think Christian Grey is better with even more hair.

For someone who has never read 50 Shades of Grey and never will, and will only watch the movie if I am VERY drunk with some VERY funny female friends, I have so many thoughts on this!

Made this face while reading that:

BLECCCCHHHHH.

Yes. She really, really is. If you can get through 50 Shades without rooting for both of the main characters to die in a fire, you are a kinder person than I.

My friends were drooling all over the books, so I read them. The first book was ok, curiosity wise it held my interest....but "holy cow" I was honestly rolling my eyes at the dialogue. I read the other two out of "OMG you have to read the others it gets soooooo goooood!!" peer pressure/morbid curiosity and skimmed…

I know all about FSOG because I work with middle age ladies. But watching that trailer.. He's a serial killer, right? The only impression I get is that this guy is the villian in a horror porn movie. Are we supposed to think he's awful? This played like the trailer for Red Eye to me.

That dude in 50 Shades of Gray seems so stiff that he's like a brunet Ken doll. I can't imagine him seeming sexy — I'd be looking for the on/off switch.

No. Secretary was decent. This is Twilight fanfic revamped into a vapid abuse story of non-consensual sex advertising itself as BDSM when it actually adheres to none of the rules or concepts in BDSM.

Also, this is really taking 'girl needs boy' to a new level.

Girl needs boy to... tie her to a bed and spank her until she develops a sense of sexual agency and begins to understand her own worth as a human being?

Because I guess its impossible for a woman to figure any of this out on her own.