Did they hire a 17-year old to lead this design? Honestly, it looks like those awkward, overwrought, computer-generated cars you see on stock photography sites.

You're right, of course. After all the mods, this is no longer a sports car, it's a style car (or was, at least).

It kind of is, yes. The same can be said of many cultural obsessions. Even just riding around in a race car made street legal. Things that make a car good for track make it uncomfortable and expensive to drive on public roads.

Truly, ours is the best democracy money can buy!

Hopefully, the reason we have to make our own nice things.

I would though.

It looks like one of the "lite" models from this place: http://www.golittleguy.com/#

If you ask someone with a two-pedal tiptronic whatever if they have a manual or an automatic, be prepared to cringe when they say "both!" Do you have a clutch? If you don't, you're car is equipped with an automatic gearbox. Get over it, and stop lying to yourself and your loved ones.

They're not sporty. They're not particularly utilitarian. If I could honestly say they weren't vehicles, they'd have the hat trick.

For me it's a package deal, I rarely get chips on their own and if I'm having a burger, I'm usually having chips. But I'll concede that it is theoretically possible to make a chip large enough that several would suffice. I have yet to see it happen in a restaurant, however. Folks seem to enjoy a greater crispy crust…

Fair enough, but I've tried a great many different burgers so I have a pretty good idea of what I like and I'll admit I'm not likely to be in a position to try this one any time soon.

I imagine it making a snappy little *POK* sound and twirling through the air to clatter to the floor like a toy.

Nope, not convinced. (How long are you going to try?)

I want to kick that little fin off.

Color me unconvinced.

My wife hates it when chefs (or whatever) serve fries in a little cabin like this (four fries? serious?). If you're gonna serve some cheap-o fried potatoes with your $17 hamburger, serve a big ol' pile of 'em for fuck's sake! At least folks won't be hungry after eating your tiny burger.

Nah, he shoulda shot it out of some kinda ball-cannon thingy.

But it's so satisfying to try.

"Donorcycle."

"I say good chap, won't you be so good as to hold my champagne and observe the feats of derring-do I am about to perform?"