they're in an apple store, i don't think poverty's the problem

So a revenge body is just.... getting skinny? So the retractable blades I had implanted into my arms, feet and vagina were for nothing?

Right before my ex-husband was scheduled to move all of his belongings out of our previously shared home, I went into his closet and clipped one or two buttons off of each of his dress shirts. It felt good. Wasn't very nice of me, but it felt gooooooood.

I wish I'd thought of this. I owned my ex's domain as well because he was a fucking deadbeat, except he was a pretentious, chronically unemployed graphic designer so my prank would have been to go in and change everything on his carefully crafted website to Comic Sans.

My brain added a "Jones" to the end of the item about Tommy Lee and Weston Cage and had this fantastic image of Tommy Lee Jones randomly neck punching someone.

the world isn't ready for that threesome

I left him all the cd's, hundreds of them, but not before I took every single one of them out of their cases, mixed them up, and put them back in random cases. If I'm feeling low I can still get a chuckle out of imagining him looking for his Nirvana cd and realizing he has to re-case all of them.

Note: "Bhaiya" means, more or less, "Big brother" in Hindi. It is often used by women to show a mix of respect and completely non-sexual affection. In other words, the "Don't tase me, bro!" of rape defense.

Honestly, I think she's being encouraged not because she's right, but because these black artists have been around the block. They know what sells. And they are acutely aware that attaching themselves to her sexual revolution will earn them press, possibly fans and definitely money. I think it's a calculated (if…

One might make the argument that the more important thing all those people have in common is not that they're black—it's that they're really fucking famous. Far be it from me to dictate anyone else's identity to them, but I really feel like once you pass a certain point of public acclaim and notoriety, you lose some…

""I'm from one of the wealthiest counties in America," she says. "I know what I am. But I also know what I like to listen to. Look at any 20-year-old white girl right now – that's what they're listening to at the club. It's 2013. The gays are getting married, we're all collaborating. I would never think about the…

This is so fucking beautiful. I love humanity.

Maybe this is the movie that will make me like Scarlett Johansson. It looks scary as shit and I like her as a brunette.

I think you're touching on some important things here. It wasn't until several months later that she was compeelled to come forward by a friend who threatedned that if she didn't report it the friend would. That doesn't feel right to me.
However, after it was reported and investigated, prosecutors and investigators…

I just want to give Tim Gunn a hug, because it always seems like he's never received enough of them.

Oh. I expected this to be an account of the casting for the new Robin Thicke video.

This is an amazing idea. I will be your second subscriber. I would like part of the proceeds to go to one of those charities that support women who need an abortion but who can't afford to get one. Thank you for your amazing ideas! Carry on!

Check out her YouTube channel, it's all about empowering young women. Amy Poehler is an amazing, inspiring woman.

I would very much like to be a part of this newsletter. Or at least I'd like to be your first subscriber. There should be a part dedicated to her awesome SNL characters (Kaitlyn and Bronx Beat are THE BEST) and work in Wet Hot American Summer.

I have loved Amy Poehler since Jez reported that she gave a thank you speech at some awards thingy honouring her as a pretty special lady, and she thanked her kid's nanny, a lady from the Caribbean, and went on to mention and give props to all the caretakers and nannies and helpers and other pretty special…